Stuck in a Conversation...

A friend whom I quite like, told me not too long ago,

He said -- You know what Layla - your problem is that you're stuck...

Without batting an eyelid I responded -- no shit! how did you guess ?!

- Come on now, you know...All you think, write, speak, feel about, is Iraq and its tragedies. You are closed to the real world, you are closed to us, to our lives here and now..It's like you live in another universe, in another reality...come back here, come back among us...come back to us...

- You are right, am divorced from you and your reality...It's true, I live over there even though am here...But let me ask you something. How come you're so much here and am so much there ? After all you are an Arab yourself, and you're not exactly living in some remote country, away from it all...you are next door. OK let me assume that you are a few kilometers away, a few hours drive, but what about those who, like myself, surround you daily...Do you see them ?

- Yes of course I see them...but what can I do about it ? I have to live my life...I have to get up in the morning, go to work, earn a living, pretend life is normal, or as normal as can be ...

- I understand...but how come I can't do the same...how come am still stuck over there...while you seem to be very stuck over here ?

- You need to switch off...others are living their lives, normally...You are not Jesus nor Joan of Arc...I know you are ambitious, but you will not liberate Iraq that way...

- Well thanks for reminding what I have not forgotten...There are no more Jesuses nor Joans of Arc...I am ambitious and contributing to bringing down the Empire is one of my ambitions...

- Oh sure, and you will do that through your blog, right ?

- I do have illusions or delusions of grandeur but not that grand...but I do follow my heart, and where it takes me I will go...Your heart seems to be pointing in a different direction...

- That's what I call romantic idealism...I am not a romantic idealist myself...I am a pragmatist.

- And is that why you refuse to see the obvious ?

- The obvious ? Of course I see the obvious !

- Oh do you really ? Is it so very obvious to you that a whole country has been wiped off the map just like that, in a matter of a few years and 5 years is nothing in the annals of history... it is actually a very short period...and that it happens so easily, so flippantly, so inconsequentially--does not strike you as very obvious?

- Well, yes...but...

- But what ?

- But, life goes on ya Layla...

- Yes life goes on in your country, you still have a country, but for those who don't have one anymore...for those who don't have a place called home anymore...does life go on the same way ?

- Nope I guess it can't...

- So, do you still see me as stuck ?

- Yes I guess I do, now.


Painting : Iraqi artist, Sabah Majeed.

"Entre Nous"

You know something and let's keep it between us, there are things women tell each other, they would never tell you in your face...

It all comes very naturally, very matter of factly. We don't call each other and make an appointment to discuss some important issue...We just happen to meet and it flows, as part of the conversation, inserted in between stories on kids, politics, cooking, the latest diet, piece of advice, do it yourself, tips and ends...it is casually inserted as a joke, as a statement, as a truth...

A few days ago, I've been in such a situation where it was all naturally flowing...
and we were not best of friends either...

We were four Arab women, meeting for coffee after some exhibition...And inevitably and predictably so, the subject turned to men...

And I honestly don't know how it happened, but we started cracking jokes (maybe they were not jokes after all) about fantasies, libido, politicians and men in general...

The four of us agreed that Maliki, Sadr, Hakeem, Sistani, Nasrallah, Abdallah (both Saudi and Jordanian) Abbas, Olmert, Bush, Cheney, Wolfowitz, Perle, Rumsfeld, Qaddafi, Bashar, Putin, Mubarak, Ahmadinejad, Khameini -- I would personally add Blair and Sarkozy... were all anti-Eros as far as we were concerned.

In other words none of us women could really see ourselves in bed with them...

Politics, demeanor and sex appeal were all intermingled...It was really hard for us to separate one from the other.

Each time a name was thrown in as a joke, one of us would make faces and cringe.

We agreed that on the subject of "leaders", they all failed to tintillate and enthrall us.

So we moved on to singers and actors. One of the women was really hooked on George "Clowney."

I've never liked the guy myself, he reminds of Peter Pan-- Hollywood version.

Another was stuck on some Lebanese singer, whom I found too "common" and therefore
(de facto) predictable...Lots of disagreements ensued on who is really a turn on in that sphere...

Oddly enough, I've hardly had any fantasies about singers, actors and the rest...
I've had no sexual turn on idol that I carried forward in my adult years...

Maybe I've seen too many "leaders" from a very young age and that has had a dampening effect on me...

But I do remember two characters that I truly loved when I was 4. One of them was Zorro the Masked Man and the other was Roger Moore in the "Saint." This latter's novelty wore off when he started acting out his James Bond films...

Then I pondered on these two personas -- Zorro and the Saint.

One is a masked man and the other a saint....hahahahahahahaha. I don't need any Freud to explain that one to me. But then Freud did not live in the Arab World either...

But since am on the subject, I now remember that I had a terrible crush on the late Ahmad Zaki, the Egyptian actor, who has died since...God he was sexy.

And the sexy ones die young...except for Omar Sharif...but then he is no longer a true Egyptian in my eyes. He's been perverted by Julie Christie ever since he starred in Dr.Zhivago. Notice how he favored the blonde Julie to the brunette Geraldine Chaplin. What a terrible colonized mentality !

Back to our female conversation.

We agreed at the end of the day, that our libidos are on their way to extinction -- thanks to lack of true turn on men.

The politicians rendered us frigid, the actors were either dead, unreacheable, mythical or too old...That left us with "real life men"...

And since we considered ourselves "loyal" Arab women (to Arab men) we surveyed the men we knew and those we kept stored in our memory banks.

Am really sorry, but am suddenly developing a headache. Not tonight, OK ? Maybe tomorrow...

Maybe tomorrow I'll tell you about the rest of our conversation on Arab men, Arab female fantasies, libidos(???) and the instant cure for sudden headaches...


Painting : Iraqi artist, Shaker Al-Alussi.

An Eternal Living Legend...

She was, is and will remain the BEST ever...




Um Kulthum - Enta Omri.