I haven't rambled on in quite some time. Of course some may disagree and would state that I do nothing but ramble...I beg to differ here. Anyways, who cares what you think or don't think...am well past that stage.
I am terribly bored tonight, which is quite unlike me, because I hardly ever get bored. So am going to ramble on...It's a bit like when I get into a car and drive to nowhere...or walk for hours with no itinerary in mind...I like that. I like the no plan state of mind. It suits me fine. Being an Arab, we are kind of allergic to planning in advance. A mixture of fatalism, superstition, survival in endless wars, and a non-linear conception of Time. That really infuriates Westerners here. I noticed it. It makes them fume...
It really infuriates them because they want everything done NOW. Tayyeb why now ? why not later? What's the urgency of NOW ? Is it a matter of Life and Death ? Of course not.
So they say - but you don't understand, Time is money. We don't have time to waste like you folks. We have to do get things done NOW. That's another favorite word of theirs next to money, doing...They are always doing. But what are they REALLY doing ? Produce, produce, consume, consume, more and more...
What for ?
Do you need all that junk ? Do you need all that rubbish ? Do you need all that pollution ? Do you need a thousand brands of basically the same product ?
Of course you don't. Oh but no, they need to have it done and done NOW.
You see they have an agenda. A political, a business agenda for you. They call it "development".
Tayyeb, another question. If you are so developed, why are you so fucking miserable ?
If you are so developed, why don't you enjoy what you already have instead of greedily coveting more from others ?
If you are so developed, why are you so pressed like slaves ?
You see, for a backward Oriental Arab like myself, all this doesn't make sense.
Even in leisure. They rush. They rush to the gym, they rush for a walk, they rush to the restaurant, they rush to the movies, they rush to their shrink's office. And the most ironical one, is they rush to Meditation and Yoga classes.
Yabba' it's the rush that's driving you crazy...trust me.
The money rush, the gold rush, the adrenaline rush, the instant coffee rush, the one minute enlightenment rush...This is what is driving you insane. And insane people commit insane acts. It's really very simple.
I see them here as tourists. They come for 2.5 days and they want to see the whole country in 48 hours. Every village, every castle, every monument, every souk, every museum, every hot spot...They wake up at the crack of down and rush through the map...rush...till midnight and by the time they reach their hotels, they are so exhausted from too much sightseeing...
It always makes me wonder what did they really learn from their "holiday" ? Nothing.
They will land back home and show digital pictures to the rest of the family and they would go "Oh it was ever so pretty, but we were too knackered to enjoy any of it" Well am not surprised. Of course you would be...your approach is faulty to start with. It sucks.
So they have a agenda with next hour, next day, next week, next month, next year and next 5 years...a whole planned out schedule...
I am curious as to how can they be so sure they are going to be around in the next hour, next day, next week, next month, next year...?
Since there are no guarantees, why plan ?
Everything is so methodical and predictable...until the unpredictable hits. That twist of destiny, fate, coincidence, call it what you like and all your plans are gone, vanished...
I stopped planning.
I live hour to hour, day to day...If I'm hungry I eat. If I'm sleepy, I sleep. If I feel like leaving my pile of laundry to reach the ceiling, I leave it. If I feel like meeting with people, I meet, otherwise am totally unreachable. If I feel like dancing in the middle of my living room for no reason at all, I dance...
I don't have an agenda neither in friendship nor in love. I have no personal stratagems and no personal interests...I suppose that is why I am lousy at kissing ass. Some people excel in it, they've elevated it - kissing ass that is, to an art form. I can't do it. It's not because am morally superior or anything like that, but I simply have not learned the secrets of that particular trade.
Of course, today they have a polite word for that - they call it "networking" or "gaining friends and influencing people"...but really it's all about kissing ass. And it does come in quite handy with profitable pay offs, especially when dealing with the Westerners who carry their particular "development" agendas, all for your benefit - you backward Oriental Arab.
My agenda is not complicated and is quite simple - I don't have one.