Great, I have an appointment in 3 hours, have not managed to even get 10 minutes of sleep.
I started out fine, then out of the obscurity these damned faces emerged, out of the blue...out of the black.
This particular ghost was nasty one. He was mamma's favorite. Aggressive, conceited and demanding...why the fuck did he have to show up tonight ?
I went out of my way to accommodate that prick calling himself a man. And he managed to make me feel as if I was not enough for that little piece of shit called him.
Did I learn my lesson then ? No. It took me many years later...and during those fucking years I believed him, even though he was out of the picture, I believed I was not enough.
No wonder why the son of a bitch has resurfaced tonight. I need to remember that lesson. I need not to lose sight of it.
After him, the lesson presented itself under different forms, but I guess am not very bright. I kept missing it. I did not want to learn...and that ghost out of the many others is here to remind me...
I should have told him then, straight - get the fuck out of my face. That would have been the most appropriate thing to do. I was too polite and too kind at my own expense.
I blamed the ghosts on bad luck, they were not bad luck, they were divine lessons.
Today I can say it with full assurance - GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE. That's the only way to banish the devil...
A crap culture gives birth to crap mothers who in turn give birth to crap men who become crap ghosts....it all serves a purpose..the purpose is to finally be able to say :
GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE - you are not welcome anymore.