There are all sorts of Myths or Mythical Beliefs circulating around. I am sure they must serve some purpose, otherwise they would have not survived that long. However there comes a point in life, and I have seen it happen again and again, when circumstances (people, incident, experience, happening) destroys whatever myths you have held dear and close to your heart and mind.
I have seen it again and again people crumble once their fundamental myths crumbled...as if myths kept them together, and were the basis, the structure of their foundations...only for them to realize it was just a myth. Terrible blow when this happens, but its occurrence is so frequent, I can't even begin to tell you.
When an edifice is built on myths, when a structure is held together by beliefs that receive a mortal lethal blow, the edifice crumbles. This is normal. And this is the bad news. But the good news is, with patience, and self awareness, one realizes that this was never the true edifice to start with.
I will try to keep it simple and accessible, for you as much as for myself.
I don't know -- pick and chose any myths that you hold close to your heart and mind...for example the myth of motherhood and unconditional love, or the myth of perfect relationships or the perfect partner, or the myth of total loyalty in friendships, or the myth of happy ever after, or the myth if they really loved me they would accept me totally, or the myth that people are trustworthy and act out on the best of intentions, or that if you work hard and you're competent and faithful to your job, people will recognize you and your boss won't stab you in your back...add you own myths...there are 100 of myths circulating regarding people, politics, society, love, friendships, relations, families, mothers, fathers, children...and then something happens...something that defies your central myth, that challenges it to the core..
The first reaction is shock, a kind of soul numbness...then it dawns on you...one of your fundamental myths has been shattered to the ground. This is followed by a period of great anxiety...then by rage/anger and finally if you stick it through, by sadness and grief...all a necessary process...necessary for the NEW edifice to construct...based on REALITY. I am tempted to liken the process to giving birth to an authentic self, there is no birth without labor pangs of pain. Unless you settle for total or partial anesthesia, and some people do...they start acting out, screwing around, drinking, shopping, doing drugs, or any other form of escape from the labor pangs of the birth of the new Self..
Those who manage to go through the process without major self destruction (I call it an abortion i.e without aborting it), will realize that these fundamental myths they lived by or secretly hoped will one day materialize were necessary teachers, like some midwife if you like...only then can the person start searching for/constructing a structure that is solid, based on acceptance and reality of the situation and integrate all those parts to be able to finally look back and say ---oh yes that was me...but that is no longer me.
And if I want to push it even a little further, going through that process (labor pangs/furnace), is also a way for the Great Midwife to make you realize that all those myths you kept dearly to your heart and expected them to work out in your life, are possible but not from the people or relations you idealized...i.e not your mother, not your father, not your friends, not your lover, not the relationship, not not not...that process of DEMYSTIFICATION is to lead you to the Source where real, authentic stuff, IS finally possible.