Everyone around me is busy preparing for the New Year. Homes are getting cleaned, hairs are being done, nails are being polished, clothes are being picked out from wardrobes, food is being prepared, a musical repertoire is being chosen...all in preparation for the upcoming year, which by the will of Allah, unless some major catastrophic event occurs beforehand, will take place in a matter of hours...
Armed with hope and positive belief, everyone hopes that 2010 will be better than the previous years...
You hear all the time - 2009 was a terrible year, but am positive that 2010 will be better...
This is some kind of personal new year resolution one holds onto with the belief --It will be better.
Each year, the same mantra is repeated - It will be, get better...and I suppose this has been going on for centuries...
And while everyone else is rushing to meet this new year with high hopes and wishful thinking -- I, on the other hand woke up, thinking about the Age of Ignorance.
The Age of Ignorance in Islam is called the Jahiliya.
Each people have a time of "before" which they consider to be their age of Ignorance. In each history book you come across, there will always be a reference to a "dark period" -- i.e to an age of Ignorance.
Today, I thought deeply about this age of Ignorance - this Jahiliya.
In the history of Islam, Jahaliya was characterized by several things : the worshiping of false gods, injustices, greed, oppression, exploitation, corruption, the wrongful spilling of blood, superstitions, prostitution, the sacrifice of females - i.e the Feminine... to name but a few...
I am sure that in other cultures and religious systems, they also have this dark period characterized by all the wrong doings of man.
But today in 2009, we all like to believe that the age of Ignorance is no longer. That it is a thing of the past, that we have overcome all those dark forces because the truth has been revealed to us, either through a particular religion, a system of belief or through some Guru who acts as our intercessor and guides in the field of Truth...or through the sciences, a particular ideology or a political model holding promises of freedom from Ignorance.
We like to believe that the Age of Ignorance does not apply to us, personally, individually, and we consider it to be simply a historical period involving a collectivity somewhere, somewhere else, far back or far ago...
On the surface of things, there might some truth in that, considering the evolution and development of our societies, the scientific and technological breakthroughs, the refinement of the arts and cultures, the development of learning institutions, the seeming establishment of international laws and protocols...and the rest...
But are we really past the age of Ignorance ? I am not sure about that, despite all the outward appearances of it being so, despite the outward illusions of it being so...
Today I woke up with a new level of understanding of what the age of Ignorance means...
People are too focused on out there...other people, society, government, information coming from the external world - through teachers and books - the printed word, in all its forms....and they convince themselves that they have finally managed to have it figured out somehow...or at least partially figured out.
But I woke up with a different level of understanding, and inspiring myself from religious concepts and allegories, I have come to realize that the age of Ignorance - ie. the Jahiliya lives in everyone of us, inside of ourselves...
The period of idol worshiping, lies, corruption, injustices, oppression, exploitation, superstitions, and the sacrifice of the Feminine is an inside - inner age. It is not only a historical period back then, out there...no, it is a period inside, right here, right now...
And concomitantly, other stories, myths and allegories derived from religious texts visited me, and the 40 years of exodus, wandering in the desert, is also an inside job, an inner path...
Historically, all prophets were born in times of Ignorance and wandered alone for many years, in exile, in search of the "promised land"...
And in their struggles, sacrifices, solitude and exile, they understood that this "promised land" can only be achieved by doing away with the age of Ignorance and all of its manifestations i.e wandering in the darkness of the soul, like in a desert, so the promised land can be finally reached (and that seems to be a Divine promise) and thereafter laboring it so it can bloom...
The Ayat from the Koran that said " God will not change a people (their condition) unless the people change in themselves " is the Truth.
My wish for you for 2010, is to do away with your own age of ignorance and find your own, new promised land and labor it until it blooms...
Happy New Year.
Thursday, 31 December 2009
Friday, 25 December 2009
Lies, Bloody Lies...
This post may earn me more wrath, and frankly I don't give a shit. It is after all MY uncensored blog and am not exactly known for my political correctness either...
I want to write about lies today...lies bloody lies...
I have noticed that lying is the world no.1 epidemic. Worse than swine flu, worse than HIV, worse than the bubonic plague...lying is known to kill indiscriminately, and you need not go too far to see the effects of lying on nations, be it in Iraq, Palestine, Afghanistan, Pakistan...
Lies are the most potent of weapons for the WEAK. Be sure of that.
But I do not wish to write about politics here, even though, I leave the reader to indulge in a bit of thinking - if it's not too much to ask.....
I have noticed that lying is not only endemic, but it is also encouraged as a way of life...yes, a way of life..
Lying permeates EVERYTHING - Families, intimate relationships, social relationships, governments, the economy, businesses, institutions, clergy, media, academia, politics, even the sciences including the medical field are not spared lies...the virtual world, the real world, and even outer space discoveries are built on lies...
It's fucking amazing, is it not ? I think it is...It's definitely fucking amazing.
And since the subject of Lies and Lying is such a vast field, branching out to literally all aspects of Life, it would require not 1 but 2, 3, 4 Doctoral theses to cover - the origins, development, the biological, psycho-social, political, religious, spiritual,causes and consequences of Lies.. and while at it, cover the history of Lies and how Lies in History have made and broken up nations and empires....of course, this is something I have absolutely no intention of engaging in...
Suffice to say that in my opinion and based upon long and painful observations and experiences, I can safely say that LIES and its corollaries, i.e DECEIT, DENIAL, FABRICATION,...etc..in short, the occultation of TRUTH, starts with a very simple personal, self decision - and that personal decision is called an INTENTION. Lies are always preceded by an intention to cover the Truth and for many reasons...it can be cowardice, fear, self protection, gaining of approval, gaining interests, achieving a specific goal, covering up one's tracks because of wrong behavior, justifying the inexcusable...you name it...
But whichever way I look at it, behind the LIE there is always PROFIT. And who says profit always means gain and loss.
And even though there are different types of lies and several levels of lying...ranging from the seemingly "innocuous" lie to the compulsive, pathological liar (and by the way, the male gender is quite proficient at the compulsive lying business and the female gender at the manipulation business- which for me amounts to roughly the same, really), so leaving typifications, classifications and scales aside, for me Lying is Lying. Full stop.
A big lie, a small lie, a good lie, a bad lie, a white lie, a black lie, a purple lie, a red lie, a green lie, a yellow lie --- for me it's all a fucking lie.
Now where is the political incorrectness in all of this? Wait, am getting there...
Today I had nothing to do, actually I have a lot to do, but I can't be bothered to do it...so I amused myself classifying countries according to their levels of lying...
First I broke it down in continents and revised my impressions from my numerous travels, readings, dealings and experiences with different peoples and races...and this is what I came up with...
In the Middle East and the Arab world... and this is where I shall begin, because this is the area I know best. I shall not cover every single country and remember am not talking politically here, because if I am to include politics then ISRAEL and IRAN would top the list. So let me stick to what I really want to write about...
So getting back to the subject matter...
The worst liars in the Arab world are to be found in Egypt. Lying in Egypt should be made part of the national anthem...In Egypt everyone lies to everyone else...literally.
Liars in Egypt are the norm, and a truthful person is considered weird and worse, a liar.
Lies in Egypt are about everything -- I am not exaggerating, everything. EVERY SINGLE FUCKING THING is lied about in Egypt. And yes, it's THAT bad. There, you can safely consider the motto - they lie as they breath - to be an applied, empirically tested, proven, Truth.
Egypt is followed by Ze Lebanon...Ze Lebanese like to think themselves crafty and pride themselves in being good entrepreneurs...In Ze Lebanon, the definition of a good entrepreneur is someone who can gain the maximum of profit with the maximum of lies. Entrepreneur is not to be taken as business only, entrepreneurship in Ze Lebanon applies to EVERYTHING and to ALL social and personal relationships...
As I said before, I cannot go through each single country, but it is safe to say that in the ARAB world lying is part and parcel of the "national heritage".
Since am on the subject of this culturally schizophrenic entity called the Arab world, let me say a few things about today's Iraq. Iraqis had the reputation of being the Prussians/Germans of the Middle East.
I know some of you wankers out there would nod their heads and say "yes of course, they were ruled by the Nazis". Not so, idiots. A liar in Iraq would get a kundara , a shoe on his head...usually accompanied with the following sentence : " Chathab, kalb ibn kalb - Liar, dog, son of a dog. " This does not mean they were ALL truthful, righteous Iraqis, not so at all. It just means that before, lying was NOT part of the culture, so to speak...yes, dictatorships do that to you. Today, Iraqis are the most corrupt in the Arab world, they beat Egypt and Ze Lebanon combined...
OK, I think am done with the Arab garbage, let me move on to another pile now...
A short note here, I don't want Indians and Pakistanis who read the above, rub their hands gleefully and say "see, we told you Arabs are liars.!"
Oh no, because Indians and Pakistanis beat Arabs in the field of Lying...they have elevated it to an art form, Bollywood style, all flowery colors, like the tacky artificial flowers found in curry restaurants. So shut up and go tend your own backyard and get rid of those plastic flowers...and the sly smiles and head shaking nods.
Since am on the subject of the Indian subcontinent, let me add that Sri Lankans do not fare better than their Indian and Pakistani counterparts. And in this whole bloody lot, the least dishonest I have met where the Afghans, I think it must a tribal thing...well not anymore..
OK am done with the Indian subcontinent. let me move on to Asia.
The least liars I have come across were the Chinese, and the worst were the Filipinos. If you like, the Philippines is the Egypt of Asia. There too, lying for them is a cultural thing, they inhale and exhale it daily...
OK, move on to Africa...I don't have much experience with Africa and Africans. I had met a few Senegalese whom I really liked and had nothing to complain about, but I also did meet some Nigerians and the little I know about them, is that they were bad lying motherfuckers...Judging from the amount of scam, fraudulent emails I get from Nigeria, I guess you get my point.
Moving on to Europe...the worst were the Albanians-Kosovars...and the least in lying were the Germans and the Scandinavians. Will dedicate a special post to Denmark as I found the great Danes to be the most unpleasant people to be around with and the most racist and arrogant in Northern Europe followed by the Finns.
OK time to move to the Americas. Grosso modo, Latin Americans do not fare better than the Arabs in their lying sprees. The worst I came across were the Brazilians, many of whom I found to be full of shit, but Latinos also make lying a "cultural" trait...
Since am on the subject of the Americas, let me conclude with my "all time favorite" -- America, the USA.
Contrary to the prevalent belief that Americans are an honest people, I found the Americans to be the most dumb liars around. One characteristic that particularly struck me in the American personality (that includes Arab Americans, by the way) is their enormous propensity for BULLSHIT. You can safely say that Americans are FULL OF SHIT when it comes to the Truth.
Americans pretend all the time, and fake it. Fake smiles, fake "hi how's it going", fake friendliness, fake political correctness, fake everything... and I have NEVER, EVER met a people in my life who are capable of so many lies, primarily to themselves and in second lieu to the world.
Their lies are the most dangerous ones of all...Their lies are institutionalized at the highest levels, in their families, in their schools, in their universities, in their government, in their army, in their economy, in their businesses, in their churches, in their media, in their films.. they are indeed the people of the lie, the most dangerous ones around...
They are the Mother of all Liars, the Mother of all Lies. And their lies are bloody, bloody, lies...
I want to write about lies today...lies bloody lies...
I have noticed that lying is the world no.1 epidemic. Worse than swine flu, worse than HIV, worse than the bubonic plague...lying is known to kill indiscriminately, and you need not go too far to see the effects of lying on nations, be it in Iraq, Palestine, Afghanistan, Pakistan...
Lies are the most potent of weapons for the WEAK. Be sure of that.
But I do not wish to write about politics here, even though, I leave the reader to indulge in a bit of thinking - if it's not too much to ask.....
I have noticed that lying is not only endemic, but it is also encouraged as a way of life...yes, a way of life..
Lying permeates EVERYTHING - Families, intimate relationships, social relationships, governments, the economy, businesses, institutions, clergy, media, academia, politics, even the sciences including the medical field are not spared lies...the virtual world, the real world, and even outer space discoveries are built on lies...
It's fucking amazing, is it not ? I think it is...It's definitely fucking amazing.
And since the subject of Lies and Lying is such a vast field, branching out to literally all aspects of Life, it would require not 1 but 2, 3, 4 Doctoral theses to cover - the origins, development, the biological, psycho-social, political, religious, spiritual,causes and consequences of Lies.. and while at it, cover the history of Lies and how Lies in History have made and broken up nations and empires....of course, this is something I have absolutely no intention of engaging in...
Suffice to say that in my opinion and based upon long and painful observations and experiences, I can safely say that LIES and its corollaries, i.e DECEIT, DENIAL, FABRICATION,...etc..in short, the occultation of TRUTH, starts with a very simple personal, self decision - and that personal decision is called an INTENTION. Lies are always preceded by an intention to cover the Truth and for many reasons...it can be cowardice, fear, self protection, gaining of approval, gaining interests, achieving a specific goal, covering up one's tracks because of wrong behavior, justifying the inexcusable...you name it...
But whichever way I look at it, behind the LIE there is always PROFIT. And who says profit always means gain and loss.
And even though there are different types of lies and several levels of lying...ranging from the seemingly "innocuous" lie to the compulsive, pathological liar (and by the way, the male gender is quite proficient at the compulsive lying business and the female gender at the manipulation business- which for me amounts to roughly the same, really), so leaving typifications, classifications and scales aside, for me Lying is Lying. Full stop.
A big lie, a small lie, a good lie, a bad lie, a white lie, a black lie, a purple lie, a red lie, a green lie, a yellow lie --- for me it's all a fucking lie.
Now where is the political incorrectness in all of this? Wait, am getting there...
Today I had nothing to do, actually I have a lot to do, but I can't be bothered to do it...so I amused myself classifying countries according to their levels of lying...
First I broke it down in continents and revised my impressions from my numerous travels, readings, dealings and experiences with different peoples and races...and this is what I came up with...
In the Middle East and the Arab world... and this is where I shall begin, because this is the area I know best. I shall not cover every single country and remember am not talking politically here, because if I am to include politics then ISRAEL and IRAN would top the list. So let me stick to what I really want to write about...
So getting back to the subject matter...
The worst liars in the Arab world are to be found in Egypt. Lying in Egypt should be made part of the national anthem...In Egypt everyone lies to everyone else...literally.
Liars in Egypt are the norm, and a truthful person is considered weird and worse, a liar.
Lies in Egypt are about everything -- I am not exaggerating, everything. EVERY SINGLE FUCKING THING is lied about in Egypt. And yes, it's THAT bad. There, you can safely consider the motto - they lie as they breath - to be an applied, empirically tested, proven, Truth.
Egypt is followed by Ze Lebanon...Ze Lebanese like to think themselves crafty and pride themselves in being good entrepreneurs...In Ze Lebanon, the definition of a good entrepreneur is someone who can gain the maximum of profit with the maximum of lies. Entrepreneur is not to be taken as business only, entrepreneurship in Ze Lebanon applies to EVERYTHING and to ALL social and personal relationships...
As I said before, I cannot go through each single country, but it is safe to say that in the ARAB world lying is part and parcel of the "national heritage".
Since am on the subject of this culturally schizophrenic entity called the Arab world, let me say a few things about today's Iraq. Iraqis had the reputation of being the Prussians/Germans of the Middle East.
I know some of you wankers out there would nod their heads and say "yes of course, they were ruled by the Nazis". Not so, idiots. A liar in Iraq would get a kundara , a shoe on his head...usually accompanied with the following sentence : " Chathab, kalb ibn kalb - Liar, dog, son of a dog. " This does not mean they were ALL truthful, righteous Iraqis, not so at all. It just means that before, lying was NOT part of the culture, so to speak...yes, dictatorships do that to you. Today, Iraqis are the most corrupt in the Arab world, they beat Egypt and Ze Lebanon combined...
OK, I think am done with the Arab garbage, let me move on to another pile now...
A short note here, I don't want Indians and Pakistanis who read the above, rub their hands gleefully and say "see, we told you Arabs are liars.!"
Oh no, because Indians and Pakistanis beat Arabs in the field of Lying...they have elevated it to an art form, Bollywood style, all flowery colors, like the tacky artificial flowers found in curry restaurants. So shut up and go tend your own backyard and get rid of those plastic flowers...and the sly smiles and head shaking nods.
Since am on the subject of the Indian subcontinent, let me add that Sri Lankans do not fare better than their Indian and Pakistani counterparts. And in this whole bloody lot, the least dishonest I have met where the Afghans, I think it must a tribal thing...well not anymore..
OK am done with the Indian subcontinent. let me move on to Asia.
The least liars I have come across were the Chinese, and the worst were the Filipinos. If you like, the Philippines is the Egypt of Asia. There too, lying for them is a cultural thing, they inhale and exhale it daily...
OK, move on to Africa...I don't have much experience with Africa and Africans. I had met a few Senegalese whom I really liked and had nothing to complain about, but I also did meet some Nigerians and the little I know about them, is that they were bad lying motherfuckers...Judging from the amount of scam, fraudulent emails I get from Nigeria, I guess you get my point.
Moving on to Europe...the worst were the Albanians-Kosovars...and the least in lying were the Germans and the Scandinavians. Will dedicate a special post to Denmark as I found the great Danes to be the most unpleasant people to be around with and the most racist and arrogant in Northern Europe followed by the Finns.
OK time to move to the Americas. Grosso modo, Latin Americans do not fare better than the Arabs in their lying sprees. The worst I came across were the Brazilians, many of whom I found to be full of shit, but Latinos also make lying a "cultural" trait...
Since am on the subject of the Americas, let me conclude with my "all time favorite" -- America, the USA.
Contrary to the prevalent belief that Americans are an honest people, I found the Americans to be the most dumb liars around. One characteristic that particularly struck me in the American personality (that includes Arab Americans, by the way) is their enormous propensity for BULLSHIT. You can safely say that Americans are FULL OF SHIT when it comes to the Truth.
Americans pretend all the time, and fake it. Fake smiles, fake "hi how's it going", fake friendliness, fake political correctness, fake everything... and I have NEVER, EVER met a people in my life who are capable of so many lies, primarily to themselves and in second lieu to the world.
Their lies are the most dangerous ones of all...Their lies are institutionalized at the highest levels, in their families, in their schools, in their universities, in their government, in their army, in their economy, in their businesses, in their churches, in their media, in their films.. they are indeed the people of the lie, the most dangerous ones around...
They are the Mother of all Liars, the Mother of all Lies. And their lies are bloody, bloody, lies...
Monday, 21 December 2009
The Right Question...
I don't want to sound elitist or anything like that...but sorry to tell you -- most people are stupid.
Stupidity does not come from giving the wrong answers, Stupidity stems from asking the wrong questions.
I spent parts of this afternoon with a sweet, I mean really sweet friend, who has just been diagnosed with Cancer.
When you meet her and get to know her, you will ask yourself, how on earth can that innocent, really sweet, deeply kind being, suffer such an ordeal ?
I don't have the answers...I wish I did...It flabbergasts me, eludes me, and leaves me with one huge interrogation mark, one after another...
After my visit, I was left with the all too common question WHY ?
This sweet soul, did not smoke, did not drink, did not engage in any "illicit" behavior, was careful about her diet, yet she found herself alone with her tumors...WHY ?
I don't know why. The most advanced medical scientist does not why...no one knows why.
But maybe I just asked the wrong question. I asked why and not HOW come ?
How come someone who has a relatively healthy life style develop tumors all of a sudden -- was the question I should have asked myself...
How come ?
Probing a little, I found out that X. kept her sorrows to herself : her losses, her grief, her loneliness, her sadness, her pain...
Could it be that they were screaming out to her ? I can't tell for sure...but they could well be...
Could it be that the customary " Al Hamdu'lillah am fine " (thanks to God, am fine) is a lie ? A lie we keep repeating to ourselves when our world is crumbling around us ? Yes possibly so, it could very well be.
Are tumors a symptom of a tired, fatigued mode of survival ? When we keep going and everything inside nudges us in the opposite direction ? Yes possibly so...
Are tumors a sign that we have failed to revere our pain and so it manifests itself "outside" of us, crossing the barrier from our soul to our bodies ? Yes it is possible...
Could it be that the physical pain is more bearable in the long run than the pain of the soul ? Yes I think so too...
So what is the balm ? What is the remedy ?
What is the remedy for loss and abandonment ? What is the remedy for grief and aloneness ? What is the remedy for a soul crying out in the wilderness...in the wilderness of scientific non achievements, in the wilderness of half baked religious answers, in the wilderness of the huge interrogation mark ?
What is it crying out for ? Really crying out for ?
It is crying out for LIFE....
It says I want to TRULY live now... or else,
let me die...
Stupidity does not come from giving the wrong answers, Stupidity stems from asking the wrong questions.
I spent parts of this afternoon with a sweet, I mean really sweet friend, who has just been diagnosed with Cancer.
When you meet her and get to know her, you will ask yourself, how on earth can that innocent, really sweet, deeply kind being, suffer such an ordeal ?
I don't have the answers...I wish I did...It flabbergasts me, eludes me, and leaves me with one huge interrogation mark, one after another...
After my visit, I was left with the all too common question WHY ?
This sweet soul, did not smoke, did not drink, did not engage in any "illicit" behavior, was careful about her diet, yet she found herself alone with her tumors...WHY ?
I don't know why. The most advanced medical scientist does not why...no one knows why.
But maybe I just asked the wrong question. I asked why and not HOW come ?
How come someone who has a relatively healthy life style develop tumors all of a sudden -- was the question I should have asked myself...
How come ?
Probing a little, I found out that X. kept her sorrows to herself : her losses, her grief, her loneliness, her sadness, her pain...
Could it be that they were screaming out to her ? I can't tell for sure...but they could well be...
Could it be that the customary " Al Hamdu'lillah am fine " (thanks to God, am fine) is a lie ? A lie we keep repeating to ourselves when our world is crumbling around us ? Yes possibly so, it could very well be.
Are tumors a symptom of a tired, fatigued mode of survival ? When we keep going and everything inside nudges us in the opposite direction ? Yes possibly so...
Are tumors a sign that we have failed to revere our pain and so it manifests itself "outside" of us, crossing the barrier from our soul to our bodies ? Yes it is possible...
Could it be that the physical pain is more bearable in the long run than the pain of the soul ? Yes I think so too...
So what is the balm ? What is the remedy ?
What is the remedy for loss and abandonment ? What is the remedy for grief and aloneness ? What is the remedy for a soul crying out in the wilderness...in the wilderness of scientific non achievements, in the wilderness of half baked religious answers, in the wilderness of the huge interrogation mark ?
What is it crying out for ? Really crying out for ?
It is crying out for LIFE....
It says I want to TRULY live now... or else,
let me die...
Sunday, 20 December 2009
Thoughts on Polygamy - 3
So where did I leave off yesterday ? Ah, yes, I stopped at the 1% of polyandrous females in the animal kingdom, but not only...
The only living example I know of a polyandrous female is that of a highly accomplished pianist and a sharp intellectual, who married 4 men. I am not too sure by which law and with which ritual she did so, but I know that she did. She did not go around advertising it, but a friend who knows here well told me that the 4 guys are indeed her monogamous husbands.
When I heard the story, I was not shocked at all. It actually did not bother me one bit either...
I can fully understand one woman being 4 in 1. And hence I can understand one woman needing more than one husband. I did not think about how she managed sexually at the time...sex did not cross my mind, but what did cross my mind is that knowing she has a high intellectual acumen, she probably needed more than one man to complete her multi-faceted personality.
The Sufis interpret the Surat of the Koran regarding 1 man and 4 women as man being the center and the 4 women, symbolizing the 4 cardinal points, in the geometry-cosmology of life.
So I understood that this woman with 4 husbands may have been the center and her 4 men the cardinal points.
I admit, she may be an exception to the rule, but every rule has an exception.
Maybe she felt that not one man could fulfill her intellectual needs. And I certainly can understand that. And here I will introduce a short paragraph on the subject of intellectual women, as I believe it is quite important.
Overall, men are allergic to intellectual women. This is a fact they care not admit but ask any intellectual woman and she will tell you what she knows...
I suppose intellect has always been traditionally associated with the masculine, and an intellectual woman runs against this stereotype. Notice I am not talking about educated women, I am talking about intellectual women. There is a difference here.
Men in general and Eastern men and Arab men in particular are not too crazy about educated women who are intellectuals, specially if she happens to be an Arab woman.
Firstly because they feel insecure with such a woman, and secondly because they feel their own lack on that front when with her and thirdly because she does not fit the model of femininity they hold in their "heads" and fourthly they find themselves competing with her for some reason, that only they can divulge to you and if they are unable to compete with her, they will put her down as well as any of her accomplishments. In fact they are jealous of her, believe it or not.
I personally remember being the recipient of similar put down comments from males, and they went along these lines and started with the opening sentence of "your problem is..."
"your problem with marriage is - you have read too much..."
"your problem is you think, know, analyze too much..."
"your problem is you have too many books.."
"your problem is you are too intellectual..."
"your problem is that you are interested in too many things..."
Your problem, your problem, your problem...
My problem is that you men who crossed my life turned out to be 1st class, shallow, empty, mediocre, soulless, LOSERS. This is my problem. And beside this problem, I have none other. Or maybe I do have a problem after all. I KNOW this type of garbage men all too well. And alas there are too many of them around...
So yes, I do understand this woman with 4 husbands and why she needed more than one...since a lot of men lack many of what I consider the essentials, she had to find a 1/4 of each essential in one and thus make a whole 1 with 4 quarters. Makes sense to me...totally.
Forget the lip service men pay, you need to see them in action in their personal relationships...forget the outer facade they put, you need to scratch beyond the polished surface....Oh yeah.
So getting back to the article which caused such a stir, and which I mentioned in my post on Polygamy no.1. In it, the daring Saudi female author asks : why men have the right to get bored of being with one woman and therefore have the right to marry another three, while women do not.
“A man would say, I am bored. She has become like a sister to me. I am no longer sexually attracted to her’… Here's what I call cheating begins since traditions and the clerics provide men with the remedy to the ailment of boredom,”
Now am opening another paragraph on boredom.
All couples eventually go through a boredom phase...boredom is a personal problem not a problem of couples. As one wise man once told me, he said " of course I get bored with my wife, I get bored alone too..." Boredom is inevitable at some point in a couple's life . Just as boredom is sometimes inevitable when one is alone.
But "our dear" men take that as an excuse for philandering...and here am talking about ALL men not just a specific race...
I once heard a vulgar Egyptian man referring to his wife as a plate of Molokhia (a kind of cooked spinach). He said in public, "eating Molokhia every day, am fed up".
His wife was not present to respond... But seeing what a dork he is, I asked him if his wife was happy eating hummus daily - hummus is a flatulence producing grain also known as chickpeas and it is not exactly my idea of romance, either...
Men use this excuse of boredom to have affairs, or in the case of Muslim men to get a second wife.
I did briefly explain the context in which having a second wife is permitted, but Muslim men and non Muslim men alike ABUSE, and abuse greatly whatever power is given to them and find lame excuses to justify their filthy acts. Filthy acts because based on lies and manipulations.
I have to say at least in Islam though, a man cannot just go and sleep around irresponsibly. Islam tells him you want to fuck around ? Sure thing, you marry the woman and be responsible for her. And damn right too.
How many women in the West, end up as mistresses for married men and remain so for many years, wasting their lives away, hoping that he will eventually divorce his wife and come to her. They can keep on dreaming...
So getting back to boredom, and it is possible that some women are very boring and I need to remind the men who married them that they chose boring women to start with...but trust me when I tell you that men can be very, very, very boring as well...so this boredom door swings both ways...most definitely so.
Having a man talk about nothing but his job day in day out, about his adventures day in a day out, about his favorite sports teams, about stock market fluctuations and the latest car model of his dreams on and on -- this kind of man beats Valium and the most potent sleeping pill.
Men who keep interrupting, men who can't listen, men who talk endlessly about themselves are as boring as hell...They are boredom itself.
And the boredom is not limited to communication skills or lack thereof, it extends to bed. But that needs a whole chapter by itself...
Just to say that women also get VERY bored with the men in their lives...and they don't only get bored, they get frustrated and angry by the men in their lives...
Because if it only stopped at boredom, it would be a blessing. Oh no, there is also abuse, violence, nasty vile, deranged, egomaniacs that poison women's lives daily...
Boredom is the tip of the iceberg "dear men". The Truth is that you fucked up and fucked up big time...violence, wars, market collapses, pollution and ecological disasters, death industries, gang crimes, prison systems, rape and the rest...
YES all of these are fruits of your labor...your "hard work" of many centuries...
You have failed - FAILED - and failed big time. You have failed as human beings and failed as MEN.
You have cheated, lied, abused, oppressed, raped, stolen, exploited, killed...most acts of crime are committed by you, acts of war are committed by you, violence is committed by you and rape is committed by you...
Of course, some women cheer you in your crimes and abuse, and some women, some stupid, empty, soulless desperate women, follow you like sheep...and they sit and cry wolf later...but bottom line you are the ones who are ultimately RESPONSIBLE for the mess we have found ourselves in, you are ultimately responsible for the dire state of affairs the planet finds itself in...
When I look at all the damage, I can't help wonder what kind of parents you had, what kind of fathers and more importantly what kind of mothers gave birth to such ugliness like yourselves. You have indeed turned this place into a very ugly one.
And the day you own up to your acts and make serious amends is the day that salvation is possible but not before...
So getting back to female polygamy, compared to all the crimes you men have committed, and are committing daily, crimes against planet Earth, crimes against women and children, crimes against your fellow men, is it such a big deal if in the face of all of this, a woman demands the right to have a second husband ? I think not.
Personally I would not want to run the risk of ending up with a first dickhead, let alone a second one.
And I guess that sums it all up.
The only living example I know of a polyandrous female is that of a highly accomplished pianist and a sharp intellectual, who married 4 men. I am not too sure by which law and with which ritual she did so, but I know that she did. She did not go around advertising it, but a friend who knows here well told me that the 4 guys are indeed her monogamous husbands.
When I heard the story, I was not shocked at all. It actually did not bother me one bit either...
I can fully understand one woman being 4 in 1. And hence I can understand one woman needing more than one husband. I did not think about how she managed sexually at the time...sex did not cross my mind, but what did cross my mind is that knowing she has a high intellectual acumen, she probably needed more than one man to complete her multi-faceted personality.
The Sufis interpret the Surat of the Koran regarding 1 man and 4 women as man being the center and the 4 women, symbolizing the 4 cardinal points, in the geometry-cosmology of life.
So I understood that this woman with 4 husbands may have been the center and her 4 men the cardinal points.
I admit, she may be an exception to the rule, but every rule has an exception.
Maybe she felt that not one man could fulfill her intellectual needs. And I certainly can understand that. And here I will introduce a short paragraph on the subject of intellectual women, as I believe it is quite important.
Overall, men are allergic to intellectual women. This is a fact they care not admit but ask any intellectual woman and she will tell you what she knows...
I suppose intellect has always been traditionally associated with the masculine, and an intellectual woman runs against this stereotype. Notice I am not talking about educated women, I am talking about intellectual women. There is a difference here.
Men in general and Eastern men and Arab men in particular are not too crazy about educated women who are intellectuals, specially if she happens to be an Arab woman.
Firstly because they feel insecure with such a woman, and secondly because they feel their own lack on that front when with her and thirdly because she does not fit the model of femininity they hold in their "heads" and fourthly they find themselves competing with her for some reason, that only they can divulge to you and if they are unable to compete with her, they will put her down as well as any of her accomplishments. In fact they are jealous of her, believe it or not.
I personally remember being the recipient of similar put down comments from males, and they went along these lines and started with the opening sentence of "your problem is..."
"your problem with marriage is - you have read too much..."
"your problem is you think, know, analyze too much..."
"your problem is you have too many books.."
"your problem is you are too intellectual..."
"your problem is that you are interested in too many things..."
Your problem, your problem, your problem...
My problem is that you men who crossed my life turned out to be 1st class, shallow, empty, mediocre, soulless, LOSERS. This is my problem. And beside this problem, I have none other. Or maybe I do have a problem after all. I KNOW this type of garbage men all too well. And alas there are too many of them around...
So yes, I do understand this woman with 4 husbands and why she needed more than one...since a lot of men lack many of what I consider the essentials, she had to find a 1/4 of each essential in one and thus make a whole 1 with 4 quarters. Makes sense to me...totally.
Forget the lip service men pay, you need to see them in action in their personal relationships...forget the outer facade they put, you need to scratch beyond the polished surface....Oh yeah.
So getting back to the article which caused such a stir, and which I mentioned in my post on Polygamy no.1. In it, the daring Saudi female author asks : why men have the right to get bored of being with one woman and therefore have the right to marry another three, while women do not.
“A man would say, I am bored. She has become like a sister to me. I am no longer sexually attracted to her’… Here's what I call cheating begins since traditions and the clerics provide men with the remedy to the ailment of boredom,”
Now am opening another paragraph on boredom.
All couples eventually go through a boredom phase...boredom is a personal problem not a problem of couples. As one wise man once told me, he said " of course I get bored with my wife, I get bored alone too..." Boredom is inevitable at some point in a couple's life . Just as boredom is sometimes inevitable when one is alone.
But "our dear" men take that as an excuse for philandering...and here am talking about ALL men not just a specific race...
I once heard a vulgar Egyptian man referring to his wife as a plate of Molokhia (a kind of cooked spinach). He said in public, "eating Molokhia every day, am fed up".
His wife was not present to respond... But seeing what a dork he is, I asked him if his wife was happy eating hummus daily - hummus is a flatulence producing grain also known as chickpeas and it is not exactly my idea of romance, either...
Men use this excuse of boredom to have affairs, or in the case of Muslim men to get a second wife.
I did briefly explain the context in which having a second wife is permitted, but Muslim men and non Muslim men alike ABUSE, and abuse greatly whatever power is given to them and find lame excuses to justify their filthy acts. Filthy acts because based on lies and manipulations.
I have to say at least in Islam though, a man cannot just go and sleep around irresponsibly. Islam tells him you want to fuck around ? Sure thing, you marry the woman and be responsible for her. And damn right too.
How many women in the West, end up as mistresses for married men and remain so for many years, wasting their lives away, hoping that he will eventually divorce his wife and come to her. They can keep on dreaming...
So getting back to boredom, and it is possible that some women are very boring and I need to remind the men who married them that they chose boring women to start with...but trust me when I tell you that men can be very, very, very boring as well...so this boredom door swings both ways...most definitely so.
Having a man talk about nothing but his job day in day out, about his adventures day in a day out, about his favorite sports teams, about stock market fluctuations and the latest car model of his dreams on and on -- this kind of man beats Valium and the most potent sleeping pill.
Men who keep interrupting, men who can't listen, men who talk endlessly about themselves are as boring as hell...They are boredom itself.
And the boredom is not limited to communication skills or lack thereof, it extends to bed. But that needs a whole chapter by itself...
Just to say that women also get VERY bored with the men in their lives...and they don't only get bored, they get frustrated and angry by the men in their lives...
Because if it only stopped at boredom, it would be a blessing. Oh no, there is also abuse, violence, nasty vile, deranged, egomaniacs that poison women's lives daily...
On male violence you must know that among women aged between 15 - 44, acts of violence cause more death and disability than cancer, malaria, traffic accidents & war combined.
Boredom is the tip of the iceberg "dear men". The Truth is that you fucked up and fucked up big time...violence, wars, market collapses, pollution and ecological disasters, death industries, gang crimes, prison systems, rape and the rest...
YES all of these are fruits of your labor...your "hard work" of many centuries...
You have failed - FAILED - and failed big time. You have failed as human beings and failed as MEN.
You have cheated, lied, abused, oppressed, raped, stolen, exploited, killed...most acts of crime are committed by you, acts of war are committed by you, violence is committed by you and rape is committed by you...
Of course, some women cheer you in your crimes and abuse, and some women, some stupid, empty, soulless desperate women, follow you like sheep...and they sit and cry wolf later...but bottom line you are the ones who are ultimately RESPONSIBLE for the mess we have found ourselves in, you are ultimately responsible for the dire state of affairs the planet finds itself in...
When I look at all the damage, I can't help wonder what kind of parents you had, what kind of fathers and more importantly what kind of mothers gave birth to such ugliness like yourselves. You have indeed turned this place into a very ugly one.
And the day you own up to your acts and make serious amends is the day that salvation is possible but not before...
So getting back to female polygamy, compared to all the crimes you men have committed, and are committing daily, crimes against planet Earth, crimes against women and children, crimes against your fellow men, is it such a big deal if in the face of all of this, a woman demands the right to have a second husband ? I think not.
Personally I would not want to run the risk of ending up with a first dickhead, let alone a second one.
And I guess that sums it all up.
Saturday, 19 December 2009
Thoughts on Polygamy - 2
I will try to pick up where I left off...again, I reiterate that the subject matter is a difficult one, bearing in mind that it is a woman writing about it.
Had it been a male, I am 100% sure, he would not need to dig deep into finding the "objective" pros and cons.
Anyways, let me continue...even though I cannot guarantee beforehand an all final conclusion on the subject matter. After all, I did say I am rambling and you have the choice to either trip with me or to back out...
Historically or should I say anthropologically, well at least as far as my knowledge goes, the polyandrous societies that I recall reading about were two. One of them, and am not sure they still exist, was in the Tibet, where one woman would be shared by several men -- husband, brother in law, and others... and according to some historical reading I still have recollections of, in the pre-Islamic era, in the Southern tip of the Arabian peninsula now called Saudi Arabia, similar polyandrous structures existed, whereby a woman would have up to 10 husbands. More than 10 would be considered prostitution.
And according to some historical narratives, if the woman kept the door of her tent down, it would signal to one of the husbands, that she is busy with another one.,.
Some would argue that the polyandrous woman had no choice. That she was shared amongst the men of the tribe/clan like an object.
There might be some truth in that. When reading about polyandrous societies in the Tibet, for instance, I do remember that the polygamous women there HAD to accept the husband's brother and even being given away as a "present" to a male visitor.
I remember reading similar stories amongst the Inuits/Eskimo females, by which a woman would be given off as a "present" to a visitor...
Of course this leads me to question if in these polyandrous systems, women were actually free to choose, to start with...and it leads me to question if women were truly the matriarchs there or if the structure of polyandry was imposed upon them by the men, all the way...
Which of course, leads me to conclude that "male possessiveness" is not necessarily an "innate", biologically, predetermined one, but can also very well be a societal, structurally, culturally, induced trait depending on context.
If we hypothetically assume that these polyandrous females were not forced into this societal construct by the men, at that particular time (of course no one bothered to ask them if they were happy having up to 10 men at a time), then one might conclude that it is fairly possible that these polyandrous women were truly polygamous and acted out of CHOICE.
Even though I very much doubt the above proposition, seeing that men are overall a bunch of assholes and that one male is more than enough, but for assumption's sake I will take that female polyandry was a "free choice" by the women and that there truly existed some matriarchal form of power that translated itself into polyandrous structures...
And at that point, I am going to get quite personal...after all who would want to fuck the husband, and the brother of the husband and the uncle of the husband and the visitor of the husband...and God knows who else ...
I mean, one is more than enough...so said Eve as she fell and tumbled down with Mr. Adam...
On that subject, there is an Arabic joke in which Adam, with a pouting face asks Eve: " Do you love me darling? " And Eve replies : " Why is there anyone else around here but you!"
I suppose Eve and all the others did not have much choice to start with, they were stuck with one Adam.
Except for the 1%...
Had it been a male, I am 100% sure, he would not need to dig deep into finding the "objective" pros and cons.
Anyways, let me continue...even though I cannot guarantee beforehand an all final conclusion on the subject matter. After all, I did say I am rambling and you have the choice to either trip with me or to back out...
Historically or should I say anthropologically, well at least as far as my knowledge goes, the polyandrous societies that I recall reading about were two. One of them, and am not sure they still exist, was in the Tibet, where one woman would be shared by several men -- husband, brother in law, and others... and according to some historical reading I still have recollections of, in the pre-Islamic era, in the Southern tip of the Arabian peninsula now called Saudi Arabia, similar polyandrous structures existed, whereby a woman would have up to 10 husbands. More than 10 would be considered prostitution.
And according to some historical narratives, if the woman kept the door of her tent down, it would signal to one of the husbands, that she is busy with another one.,.
Some would argue that the polyandrous woman had no choice. That she was shared amongst the men of the tribe/clan like an object.
There might be some truth in that. When reading about polyandrous societies in the Tibet, for instance, I do remember that the polygamous women there HAD to accept the husband's brother and even being given away as a "present" to a male visitor.
I remember reading similar stories amongst the Inuits/Eskimo females, by which a woman would be given off as a "present" to a visitor...
Of course this leads me to question if in these polyandrous systems, women were actually free to choose, to start with...and it leads me to question if women were truly the matriarchs there or if the structure of polyandry was imposed upon them by the men, all the way...
Which of course, leads me to conclude that "male possessiveness" is not necessarily an "innate", biologically, predetermined one, but can also very well be a societal, structurally, culturally, induced trait depending on context.
If we hypothetically assume that these polyandrous females were not forced into this societal construct by the men, at that particular time (of course no one bothered to ask them if they were happy having up to 10 men at a time), then one might conclude that it is fairly possible that these polyandrous women were truly polygamous and acted out of CHOICE.
Even though I very much doubt the above proposition, seeing that men are overall a bunch of assholes and that one male is more than enough, but for assumption's sake I will take that female polyandry was a "free choice" by the women and that there truly existed some matriarchal form of power that translated itself into polyandrous structures...
And at that point, I am going to get quite personal...after all who would want to fuck the husband, and the brother of the husband and the uncle of the husband and the visitor of the husband...and God knows who else ...
I mean, one is more than enough...so said Eve as she fell and tumbled down with Mr. Adam...
On that subject, there is an Arabic joke in which Adam, with a pouting face asks Eve: " Do you love me darling? " And Eve replies : " Why is there anyone else around here but you!"
I suppose Eve and all the others did not have much choice to start with, they were stuck with one Adam.
Except for the 1%...
Thoughts on Polygamy - 1
The recent outbursts of some fairly violent reactions regarding a comment I left on Al'Arabiya website concerning Female Polygamy, led me to delve into the subject matter deeper...
I left a comment following an article by a daring Saudi female journalist who argued that women too, have the right to marry more than one man as part of gender equality.
And I shall reprint some parts of it below.
The author asks : " why men have the right to get bored of being with one woman and therefore have the right to marry another three, while women do not.
" But a woman does not cheat, not because she is not bored. In fact, she might have not felt one ounce of pleasure since the very first night of this arranged marriage. But traditions and the clerics force her to stay at home and shut up "
“A man would say, ‘I am bored. She has become like a sister to me. I am no longer sexually attracted to her.’… Here's what I call cheating begins since traditions and the clerics provide men with the remedy to the ailment of boredom,” the article reads.
Bedair then asks what happens when the woman gets bored as well or rather if she has not been enjoying her marital life from the very beginning
She then concludes the article by proposing that either polygamy be sanctioned for men and women alike or a new map for marriage be drawn to defeat men’s "lame" excuses.
“Until then, the question remains: What happens when I am bored of him or if I feel he is like a brother to me?”
Needless to say lawsuits have started falling on the newspaper that published this article and the BBC picked up the story as well. A sign that the shit hit the fan.
I find all of this quite amusing....
This is indeed a vast subject and an non exhaustive one...and by coincidence I fell on an article today as I was flipping through some magazine at my friend's place, and the article was on polygamy.
It heavily relied on zoological observations, meaning on behavior of animals, probably derived from some Darwinian background, where it was argued that this whole polygamy business is Nature's way to ensure the reproduction of species, and by which not one female mammal/primate is left out from the reproductive cycle.
That article then gave a few figures, and it seems that 82% of male animals are polygamous and 1% only of female animals are polyandrous (polyandry is female polygamy).
Unfortunately I could not finish the article as my friend barged in from the kitchen with a tray of goodies and as I picked the delicacies and stared into his eyes, I wondered if he was part of the 82% ...and of course that got me thinking if I was part of the 1%...
However, I do remember quickly reading through the conclusion that stated that monogamy was an unnatural state of affairs. The magazine by the way was a European one.
I had to remind myself that neither he nor I were primates...but who's to tell ?
Just to tell you that this is a complex subject and am not even sure why I started it...and it may very well be that this post will be totally incoherent as thoughts are racing through my mind...
So if you can bear the incoherence read on and if you can't, leave me to ramble by myself...
It is a complex subject for many reasons...
It touches at the core of gender relations (East and West), it touches on religion, culture, biology, socialization and the big S, the taboo word -- SEX.
In one of my posts on Iraqi widows, I advocated for a return of male polygamy -- not that it ever left...
In re-reading the surat Al -Nisa from the Holy Koran, and the ayat/paragraph dealing with the issue of 4 wives, I can't help but notice that this particular paragraph starts with "the Orphans"
Orphans here can mean orphaned children with a widow for a mother or it may also mean an orphaned woman. In the Semitic world view, a woman who has no male supporter is considered an orphan as well. The ayat then concludes-- if you fear you cannot treat the women equally,with justice, then only one woman is allowed.
Treat the women equally is a very important sentence. Some interpret that as the man should provide equally to the 2, 3, or 4 women. This presupposes that the man has the means to do so. But then treating equally or with justice is not only about material provisions, that would be a very literal reading of the ayat.
So a further interpretation would mean -- there must be an equal sexual treatment too. Meaning that none of the women are to be neglected sexually. In other words, the man has to have sex with the women in turn. No favoring one over the other. This again presupposes that the man is physically and sexually fit.
To treat equally may also mean to love and care for equally and this is where it gets really tricky, because this is an almost impossibility.
I would personally favor the interpretation that deals with widows and orphans and as I have argued in my post on Iraqi widows, these women have the RIGHT to a partner. And at times of war, and God knows that the Arab world has known many, it is a FACT that women outnumber men. It is also a fact that women outnumber men worldwide...These left out women have the RIGHT to partners and to sex as well. (Now this is what I call true "sisterhood")
Moreover in the Sharia, the body of Islamic Jurisprudence, the first wife needs to give her consent for a second marriage first. Moreover, a woman can stipulate in her marriage contract that if the man marries another woman she can divorce him. In other words she can stipulate her right to repudiate and divorce him.
On the subject of consent, it is interesting to note that in Osama Bin Laden wife's memoirs, she states that Osama asked her permission before marrying a second wife and she even went so far as to find him a suitable second wife.
Furthermore in Islamic law, if a man repudiates his wife 3 times, and then the couple wants to get back together again, the woman MUST marry another man before returning to her husband- it is called "tajheesh". And in tajheesh, sex must take place...
This is a punitive action against the husband for usurping his repudiation rights. What currently happens though is that tajheesh does take place without the sex. In other words, a loophole is found in the law, to protect the former husband from an extreme bout of possessive jealousy. But in any event, the former husband has to wait the 40 days Idda period before re-marrying his former wife, to ensure that she is not pregnant from the other man.
This is all to show that men cannot do as they please with the women they chose as partners.
But since I do not wish to ramify the subject too much, I will stick to polygamy for the moment, both male and female.
So as I argued or tried to argue, male polygamy in Islam is condoned with the intention of keeping the social order, particularly at times of war. I gave Iraq as an example. And in that sense, I find that "clause" quite merciful towards the women who no longer have a man in their lives.
And before I go for the jugular, I must also say that I noticed something quite positive in conservative traditional Saudi Arabia - namely that "toutes les femmes y passent " meaning that all women there get to get married (bear in mind that sex outside of marriage is prohibited in Islam), older women with younger men, older men with younger women --- all women there get married...Something that you do not see in the rest of the Middle East, or the "Levant" as they call it, where people have more hang ups about marriage if the man or the woman does not fit the right "profile"...
I left a comment following an article by a daring Saudi female journalist who argued that women too, have the right to marry more than one man as part of gender equality.
And I shall reprint some parts of it below.
The author asks : " why men have the right to get bored of being with one woman and therefore have the right to marry another three, while women do not.
" But a woman does not cheat, not because she is not bored. In fact, she might have not felt one ounce of pleasure since the very first night of this arranged marriage. But traditions and the clerics force her to stay at home and shut up "
“A man would say, ‘I am bored. She has become like a sister to me. I am no longer sexually attracted to her.’… Here's what I call cheating begins since traditions and the clerics provide men with the remedy to the ailment of boredom,” the article reads.
Bedair then asks what happens when the woman gets bored as well or rather if she has not been enjoying her marital life from the very beginning
She then concludes the article by proposing that either polygamy be sanctioned for men and women alike or a new map for marriage be drawn to defeat men’s "lame" excuses.
“Until then, the question remains: What happens when I am bored of him or if I feel he is like a brother to me?”
Needless to say lawsuits have started falling on the newspaper that published this article and the BBC picked up the story as well. A sign that the shit hit the fan.
I find all of this quite amusing....
This is indeed a vast subject and an non exhaustive one...and by coincidence I fell on an article today as I was flipping through some magazine at my friend's place, and the article was on polygamy.
It heavily relied on zoological observations, meaning on behavior of animals, probably derived from some Darwinian background, where it was argued that this whole polygamy business is Nature's way to ensure the reproduction of species, and by which not one female mammal/primate is left out from the reproductive cycle.
That article then gave a few figures, and it seems that 82% of male animals are polygamous and 1% only of female animals are polyandrous (polyandry is female polygamy).
Unfortunately I could not finish the article as my friend barged in from the kitchen with a tray of goodies and as I picked the delicacies and stared into his eyes, I wondered if he was part of the 82% ...and of course that got me thinking if I was part of the 1%...
However, I do remember quickly reading through the conclusion that stated that monogamy was an unnatural state of affairs. The magazine by the way was a European one.
I had to remind myself that neither he nor I were primates...but who's to tell ?
Just to tell you that this is a complex subject and am not even sure why I started it...and it may very well be that this post will be totally incoherent as thoughts are racing through my mind...
So if you can bear the incoherence read on and if you can't, leave me to ramble by myself...
It is a complex subject for many reasons...
It touches at the core of gender relations (East and West), it touches on religion, culture, biology, socialization and the big S, the taboo word -- SEX.
In one of my posts on Iraqi widows, I advocated for a return of male polygamy -- not that it ever left...
In re-reading the surat Al -Nisa from the Holy Koran, and the ayat/paragraph dealing with the issue of 4 wives, I can't help but notice that this particular paragraph starts with "the Orphans"
Orphans here can mean orphaned children with a widow for a mother or it may also mean an orphaned woman. In the Semitic world view, a woman who has no male supporter is considered an orphan as well. The ayat then concludes-- if you fear you cannot treat the women equally,with justice, then only one woman is allowed.
Treat the women equally is a very important sentence. Some interpret that as the man should provide equally to the 2, 3, or 4 women. This presupposes that the man has the means to do so. But then treating equally or with justice is not only about material provisions, that would be a very literal reading of the ayat.
So a further interpretation would mean -- there must be an equal sexual treatment too. Meaning that none of the women are to be neglected sexually. In other words, the man has to have sex with the women in turn. No favoring one over the other. This again presupposes that the man is physically and sexually fit.
To treat equally may also mean to love and care for equally and this is where it gets really tricky, because this is an almost impossibility.
I would personally favor the interpretation that deals with widows and orphans and as I have argued in my post on Iraqi widows, these women have the RIGHT to a partner. And at times of war, and God knows that the Arab world has known many, it is a FACT that women outnumber men. It is also a fact that women outnumber men worldwide...These left out women have the RIGHT to partners and to sex as well. (Now this is what I call true "sisterhood")
Moreover in the Sharia, the body of Islamic Jurisprudence, the first wife needs to give her consent for a second marriage first. Moreover, a woman can stipulate in her marriage contract that if the man marries another woman she can divorce him. In other words she can stipulate her right to repudiate and divorce him.
On the subject of consent, it is interesting to note that in Osama Bin Laden wife's memoirs, she states that Osama asked her permission before marrying a second wife and she even went so far as to find him a suitable second wife.
Furthermore in Islamic law, if a man repudiates his wife 3 times, and then the couple wants to get back together again, the woman MUST marry another man before returning to her husband- it is called "tajheesh". And in tajheesh, sex must take place...
This is a punitive action against the husband for usurping his repudiation rights. What currently happens though is that tajheesh does take place without the sex. In other words, a loophole is found in the law, to protect the former husband from an extreme bout of possessive jealousy. But in any event, the former husband has to wait the 40 days Idda period before re-marrying his former wife, to ensure that she is not pregnant from the other man.
This is all to show that men cannot do as they please with the women they chose as partners.
But since I do not wish to ramify the subject too much, I will stick to polygamy for the moment, both male and female.
So as I argued or tried to argue, male polygamy in Islam is condoned with the intention of keeping the social order, particularly at times of war. I gave Iraq as an example. And in that sense, I find that "clause" quite merciful towards the women who no longer have a man in their lives.
And before I go for the jugular, I must also say that I noticed something quite positive in conservative traditional Saudi Arabia - namely that "toutes les femmes y passent " meaning that all women there get to get married (bear in mind that sex outside of marriage is prohibited in Islam), older women with younger men, older men with younger women --- all women there get married...Something that you do not see in the rest of the Middle East, or the "Levant" as they call it, where people have more hang ups about marriage if the man or the woman does not fit the right "profile"...
Monday, 14 December 2009
Earth and the Spirit of Resistance.
I need to keep writing...I let the emotions engulf me, like a swimmer facing high waves...I just go with them, go with the tide...and trust that they will lead me to the shore, to some shore...their depths is a shore too...their shore.
I noticed even in the depths, there is ground, there is land, there is Earth. Even in the abyss, there is ground, there is land, there is Earth.
One always falls onto something...Even high flying birds fall and crash on Earth...
Earth is powerful. It's a demanding Mother, forcing all to return to Her.
You belong to me, she ordains...and all follow, sooner or later...they all follow.
Earth, the great womb and the great graveyard. Amazing is it not ? It gives birth and then swallows up...
It sustains and if you mess around with Her, she messes with you. Earth is no joke.
All come back to Her, eventually...No wonder she is called Mother Earth.
Earth is the face of the Divine. You pollute it, you pollute your own self. You dirty it, you dirty your own self, you strangle it, you strangle your own self...
And from Her, power is absorbed...She infuses you with it, provided that you approach Her with reverence, with awe and with respect...She is generous, very generous.
And from Her, the spirit of Attachment emanates...like an umbilical cord...She is the Mother of Attachment. And with Attachment comes Love...and Sacrifice...
And with Attachment and Love comes Resistance...Resistance is all Earth...in its most noble form.
Resistance is not only about arms and fighting...oh no. Resistance IS Resilience.
It's the Spirit.
It really boils down to something very simple...And how I love simple things.
Resistance is Mother Earth calling you...to mold you, forge you in her womb and teach you. Teach you the highest spiritual lessons. You don't need no Guru for that.
If you keep your earthly senses open, you will learn all you need to learn.
I noticed even in the depths, there is ground, there is land, there is Earth. Even in the abyss, there is ground, there is land, there is Earth.
One always falls onto something...Even high flying birds fall and crash on Earth...
Earth is powerful. It's a demanding Mother, forcing all to return to Her.
You belong to me, she ordains...and all follow, sooner or later...they all follow.
Earth, the great womb and the great graveyard. Amazing is it not ? It gives birth and then swallows up...
It sustains and if you mess around with Her, she messes with you. Earth is no joke.
All come back to Her, eventually...No wonder she is called Mother Earth.
Earth is the face of the Divine. You pollute it, you pollute your own self. You dirty it, you dirty your own self, you strangle it, you strangle your own self...
And from Her, power is absorbed...She infuses you with it, provided that you approach Her with reverence, with awe and with respect...She is generous, very generous.
And from Her, the spirit of Attachment emanates...like an umbilical cord...She is the Mother of Attachment. And with Attachment comes Love...and Sacrifice...
And with Attachment and Love comes Resistance...Resistance is all Earth...in its most noble form.
Resistance is not only about arms and fighting...oh no. Resistance IS Resilience.
It's the Spirit.
It really boils down to something very simple...And how I love simple things.
Resistance is Mother Earth calling you...to mold you, forge you in her womb and teach you. Teach you the highest spiritual lessons. You don't need no Guru for that.
If you keep your earthly senses open, you will learn all you need to learn.
On Morality...
I need to keep writing...change subjects, or go to the core of the Subject. I want to write about Morality.
I am aware that Morality has a bad reputation these days. People are more concerned about being politically correct than about being morally correct. And the two don't necessarily go together.
People equate morality with all sorts of things : Puritanism, strict upbringing, a perverted religious education, conservatism, old traditions, antiquated beliefs...etc.
And am sure each one has their own reason as to why they may be allergic to the word Morality.
Some people equate Morality with following religious scriptures and some equate Morality with politeness, and some equate Morality with abstaining from sinful behavior...
For me these are all outward manifestations of one form of Morality...a skin deep one. Necessary but limited.
I personally believe in a deeper Morality. And the way to access this deeper Morality is to ask ONESELF a very simple question - Is this (deed, act, belief...) morally correct ?
I believe the minute this question is posed to the Self, the reply is immediate.
It requires no text book, no manual and no law.
I am aware that Morality has a bad reputation these days. People are more concerned about being politically correct than about being morally correct. And the two don't necessarily go together.
People equate morality with all sorts of things : Puritanism, strict upbringing, a perverted religious education, conservatism, old traditions, antiquated beliefs...etc.
And am sure each one has their own reason as to why they may be allergic to the word Morality.
Some people equate Morality with following religious scriptures and some equate Morality with politeness, and some equate Morality with abstaining from sinful behavior...
For me these are all outward manifestations of one form of Morality...a skin deep one. Necessary but limited.
I personally believe in a deeper Morality. And the way to access this deeper Morality is to ask ONESELF a very simple question - Is this (deed, act, belief...) morally correct ?
I believe the minute this question is posed to the Self, the reply is immediate.
It requires no text book, no manual and no law.
Thursday, 10 December 2009
Garbage People...
I am in misanthropic frame of mind, not that it ever left me, as a matter of fact, it is getting worse...or maybe getting better. I will not judge.
I am sick and tired of garbage people. Garbage people with garbage minds and garbage souls and garbage behavior and garbage attitudes and garbage mentality and garbage beliefs and garbage acts...Garbage, plain garbage.
I am sick and tired of people trying to play smart and swindle, lie, cheat, fabricate stories and pollute me with their souls vices and sicknesses. Pollute me because in every interaction you give and you receive and receiving garbage from people is common in this part of the world.
Contracts are never fulfilled as per the letter, promises are never kept, deals are always broken, everyone pays lip service to so called ideals but it remains just that, lip service...One can't expect garbage people to deliver the goods, how can it be ?
Everything is done in a half ass way, incomplete, lousy, bad quality, and they will find one thousand excuses --all lies why it could not have been done better or up to standard. It can be anything really...it's as if they have signed a pact with incompetence itself.
And the lies, bloody hell the lies, the lame excuses, the justifications, the rationalizations...it's really awful to live with, daily.
That is why I try my best to keep my dealings to a strict minimum. I really can't take the garbage anymore.
Everyone wants to make a quick buck by whatever means, even with badly done jobs, with lousy standards, and you pay exorbitant prices for NOTHING. And the mentality, fuck that mentality of tribes. They are quick to accept money from a woman but God forbid that this same woman should give orders for a job well done.
Take this example. I had to have some plumbing works done because the sewage system is so fucking obsolete and I always have problems with leaks. One day it's the toilet, one day it's the sink, one day it's the shower...and in the space of 2 weeks I called on the plumbing company 5 times to fix things they mess up. And every time they send me someone to fix something, he breaks something else in the process. So I end up calling them again and they send me someone else to fix that other thing that got messed up in the process of fixing that initial thing that was broken...so on and so forth.
And each time I have to pay and it's not cheap labour either. And they are quick to take the money from a woman but if I say to any of these morons - maybe you need to look into that instead of this - oh boy does he get offended. Because a woman is giving him orders, in that fucked up tribal garbage mentality of his. After all it is my fucking bathroom/kitchen and am paying and I want a job well done! But oh no, can't be that way with these fucking retards called men.
Even the plumber has an ego greater than the God he supposedly worships. Oh man, am so fucking fed up with this shit.
And it's not just the plumber, it's the same across the board. Be it a director, a manager, a salesman, a waiter, a grocer... they all give you garbage excuses but are quick to take the money but get really offended if you the payer tell them what they delivered is not good enough.
Take for instance another example...I bought a do it yourself piece of furniture that needs some screws/nails fitted in. I call on a carpenter to help me. There is an instruction manual. I suggest we look at it to make sure where the screws go. Oh but no, the carpenter is a fucking Einstein and refuses to look at the one page manual, that even a 5 year old can figure out, because mister's shit ego does not need instructions, he knows it all ! End result, he pierced my piece furniture with a fucking drill when all he had to do is just put the screws in the fucking designated holes. And I had to pay him shit loads of money for a one hour job, that ruined my wood. When I mentioned to him that he massacred my piece of furniture, mister dickhead got sooo offended. How dare I, a woman, who cannot use a drill tell him that what he did was totally wrong and totally stupid ?! I felt like drilling that pea brain of his.
And it's the same in every area -- plumbers, carpenters, electricians, phone company, computer store, technicians, administration...every area suffers from the same incompetence and mediocrity and there is no room for improvement because that fucking tribal male ego (and female ego by osmosis) cannot take any criticism whatsoever. But when it comes to paying, they are quick to suck up your money and you get zilch in return. Oh no, you do get something in return - GARBAGE !
I am sick and tired of garbage people. Garbage people with garbage minds and garbage souls and garbage behavior and garbage attitudes and garbage mentality and garbage beliefs and garbage acts...Garbage, plain garbage.
I am sick and tired of people trying to play smart and swindle, lie, cheat, fabricate stories and pollute me with their souls vices and sicknesses. Pollute me because in every interaction you give and you receive and receiving garbage from people is common in this part of the world.
Contracts are never fulfilled as per the letter, promises are never kept, deals are always broken, everyone pays lip service to so called ideals but it remains just that, lip service...One can't expect garbage people to deliver the goods, how can it be ?
Everything is done in a half ass way, incomplete, lousy, bad quality, and they will find one thousand excuses --all lies why it could not have been done better or up to standard. It can be anything really...it's as if they have signed a pact with incompetence itself.
And the lies, bloody hell the lies, the lame excuses, the justifications, the rationalizations...it's really awful to live with, daily.
That is why I try my best to keep my dealings to a strict minimum. I really can't take the garbage anymore.
Everyone wants to make a quick buck by whatever means, even with badly done jobs, with lousy standards, and you pay exorbitant prices for NOTHING. And the mentality, fuck that mentality of tribes. They are quick to accept money from a woman but God forbid that this same woman should give orders for a job well done.
Take this example. I had to have some plumbing works done because the sewage system is so fucking obsolete and I always have problems with leaks. One day it's the toilet, one day it's the sink, one day it's the shower...and in the space of 2 weeks I called on the plumbing company 5 times to fix things they mess up. And every time they send me someone to fix something, he breaks something else in the process. So I end up calling them again and they send me someone else to fix that other thing that got messed up in the process of fixing that initial thing that was broken...so on and so forth.
And each time I have to pay and it's not cheap labour either. And they are quick to take the money from a woman but if I say to any of these morons - maybe you need to look into that instead of this - oh boy does he get offended. Because a woman is giving him orders, in that fucked up tribal garbage mentality of his. After all it is my fucking bathroom/kitchen and am paying and I want a job well done! But oh no, can't be that way with these fucking retards called men.
Even the plumber has an ego greater than the God he supposedly worships. Oh man, am so fucking fed up with this shit.
And it's not just the plumber, it's the same across the board. Be it a director, a manager, a salesman, a waiter, a grocer... they all give you garbage excuses but are quick to take the money but get really offended if you the payer tell them what they delivered is not good enough.
Take for instance another example...I bought a do it yourself piece of furniture that needs some screws/nails fitted in. I call on a carpenter to help me. There is an instruction manual. I suggest we look at it to make sure where the screws go. Oh but no, the carpenter is a fucking Einstein and refuses to look at the one page manual, that even a 5 year old can figure out, because mister's shit ego does not need instructions, he knows it all ! End result, he pierced my piece furniture with a fucking drill when all he had to do is just put the screws in the fucking designated holes. And I had to pay him shit loads of money for a one hour job, that ruined my wood. When I mentioned to him that he massacred my piece of furniture, mister dickhead got sooo offended. How dare I, a woman, who cannot use a drill tell him that what he did was totally wrong and totally stupid ?! I felt like drilling that pea brain of his.
And it's the same in every area -- plumbers, carpenters, electricians, phone company, computer store, technicians, administration...every area suffers from the same incompetence and mediocrity and there is no room for improvement because that fucking tribal male ego (and female ego by osmosis) cannot take any criticism whatsoever. But when it comes to paying, they are quick to suck up your money and you get zilch in return. Oh no, you do get something in return - GARBAGE !
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