I don't want to sound elitist or anything like that...but sorry to tell you -- most people are stupid.
Stupidity does not come from giving the wrong answers, Stupidity stems from asking the wrong questions.
I spent parts of this afternoon with a sweet, I mean really sweet friend, who has just been diagnosed with Cancer.
When you meet her and get to know her, you will ask yourself, how on earth can that innocent, really sweet, deeply kind being, suffer such an ordeal ?
I don't have the answers...I wish I did...It flabbergasts me, eludes me, and leaves me with one huge interrogation mark, one after another...
After my visit, I was left with the all too common question WHY ?
This sweet soul, did not smoke, did not drink, did not engage in any "illicit" behavior, was careful about her diet, yet she found herself alone with her tumors...WHY ?
I don't know why. The most advanced medical scientist does not why...no one knows why.
But maybe I just asked the wrong question. I asked why and not HOW come ?
How come someone who has a relatively healthy life style develop tumors all of a sudden -- was the question I should have asked myself...
How come ?
Probing a little, I found out that X. kept her sorrows to herself : her losses, her grief, her loneliness, her sadness, her pain...
Could it be that they were screaming out to her ? I can't tell for sure...but they could well be...
Could it be that the customary " Al Hamdu'lillah am fine " (thanks to God, am fine) is a lie ? A lie we keep repeating to ourselves when our world is crumbling around us ? Yes possibly so, it could very well be.
Are tumors a symptom of a tired, fatigued mode of survival ? When we keep going and everything inside nudges us in the opposite direction ? Yes possibly so...
Are tumors a sign that we have failed to revere our pain and so it manifests itself "outside" of us, crossing the barrier from our soul to our bodies ? Yes it is possible...
Could it be that the physical pain is more bearable in the long run than the pain of the soul ? Yes I think so too...
So what is the balm ? What is the remedy ?
What is the remedy for loss and abandonment ? What is the remedy for grief and aloneness ? What is the remedy for a soul crying out in the wilderness...in the wilderness of scientific non achievements, in the wilderness of half baked religious answers, in the wilderness of the huge interrogation mark ?
What is it crying out for ? Really crying out for ?
It is crying out for LIFE....
It says I want to TRULY live now... or else,
let me die...
