The only living example I know of a polyandrous female is that of a highly accomplished pianist and a sharp intellectual, who married 4 men. I am not too sure by which law and with which ritual she did so, but I know that she did. She did not go around advertising it, but a friend who knows here well told me that the 4 guys are indeed her monogamous husbands.
When I heard the story, I was not shocked at all. It actually did not bother me one bit either...
I can fully understand one woman being 4 in 1. And hence I can understand one woman needing more than one husband. I did not think about how she managed sexually at the time...sex did not cross my mind, but what did cross my mind is that knowing she has a high intellectual acumen, she probably needed more than one man to complete her multi-faceted personality.
The Sufis interpret the Surat of the Koran regarding 1 man and 4 women as man being the center and the 4 women, symbolizing the 4 cardinal points, in the geometry-cosmology of life.
So I understood that this woman with 4 husbands may have been the center and her 4 men the cardinal points.
I admit, she may be an exception to the rule, but every rule has an exception.
Maybe she felt that not one man could fulfill her intellectual needs. And I certainly can understand that. And here I will introduce a short paragraph on the subject of intellectual women, as I believe it is quite important.
Overall, men are allergic to intellectual women. This is a fact they care not admit but ask any intellectual woman and she will tell you what she knows...
I suppose intellect has always been traditionally associated with the masculine, and an intellectual woman runs against this stereotype. Notice I am not talking about educated women, I am talking about intellectual women. There is a difference here.
Men in general and Eastern men and Arab men in particular are not too crazy about educated women who are intellectuals, specially if she happens to be an Arab woman.
Firstly because they feel insecure with such a woman, and secondly because they feel their own lack on that front when with her and thirdly because she does not fit the model of femininity they hold in their "heads" and fourthly they find themselves competing with her for some reason, that only they can divulge to you and if they are unable to compete with her, they will put her down as well as any of her accomplishments. In fact they are jealous of her, believe it or not.
I personally remember being the recipient of similar put down comments from males, and they went along these lines and started with the opening sentence of "your problem is..."
"your problem with marriage is - you have read too much..."
"your problem is you think, know, analyze too much..."
"your problem is you have too many books.."
"your problem is you are too intellectual..."
"your problem is that you are interested in too many things..."
Your problem, your problem, your problem...
My problem is that you men who crossed my life turned out to be 1st class, shallow, empty, mediocre, soulless, LOSERS. This is my problem. And beside this problem, I have none other. Or maybe I do have a problem after all. I KNOW this type of garbage men all too well. And alas there are too many of them around...
So yes, I do understand this woman with 4 husbands and why she needed more than one...since a lot of men lack many of what I consider the essentials, she had to find a 1/4 of each essential in one and thus make a whole 1 with 4 quarters. Makes sense to me...totally.
Forget the lip service men pay, you need to see them in action in their personal relationships...forget the outer facade they put, you need to scratch beyond the polished surface....Oh yeah.
So getting back to the article which caused such a stir, and which I mentioned in my post on Polygamy no.1. In it, the daring Saudi female author asks : why men have the right to get bored of being with one woman and therefore have the right to marry another three, while women do not.
“A man would say, I am bored. She has become like a sister to me. I am no longer sexually attracted to her’… Here's what I call cheating begins since traditions and the clerics provide men with the remedy to the ailment of boredom,”
Now am opening another paragraph on boredom.
All couples eventually go through a boredom phase...boredom is a personal problem not a problem of couples. As one wise man once told me, he said " of course I get bored with my wife, I get bored alone too..." Boredom is inevitable at some point in a couple's life . Just as boredom is sometimes inevitable when one is alone.
But "our dear" men take that as an excuse for philandering...and here am talking about ALL men not just a specific race...
I once heard a vulgar Egyptian man referring to his wife as a plate of Molokhia (a kind of cooked spinach). He said in public, "eating Molokhia every day, am fed up".
His wife was not present to respond... But seeing what a dork he is, I asked him if his wife was happy eating hummus daily - hummus is a flatulence producing grain also known as chickpeas and it is not exactly my idea of romance, either...
Men use this excuse of boredom to have affairs, or in the case of Muslim men to get a second wife.
I did briefly explain the context in which having a second wife is permitted, but Muslim men and non Muslim men alike ABUSE, and abuse greatly whatever power is given to them and find lame excuses to justify their filthy acts. Filthy acts because based on lies and manipulations.
I have to say at least in Islam though, a man cannot just go and sleep around irresponsibly. Islam tells him you want to fuck around ? Sure thing, you marry the woman and be responsible for her. And damn right too.
How many women in the West, end up as mistresses for married men and remain so for many years, wasting their lives away, hoping that he will eventually divorce his wife and come to her. They can keep on dreaming...
So getting back to boredom, and it is possible that some women are very boring and I need to remind the men who married them that they chose boring women to start with...but trust me when I tell you that men can be very, very, very boring as well...so this boredom door swings both ways...most definitely so.
Having a man talk about nothing but his job day in day out, about his adventures day in a day out, about his favorite sports teams, about stock market fluctuations and the latest car model of his dreams on and on -- this kind of man beats Valium and the most potent sleeping pill.
Men who keep interrupting, men who can't listen, men who talk endlessly about themselves are as boring as hell...They are boredom itself.
And the boredom is not limited to communication skills or lack thereof, it extends to bed. But that needs a whole chapter by itself...
Just to say that women also get VERY bored with the men in their lives...and they don't only get bored, they get frustrated and angry by the men in their lives...
Because if it only stopped at boredom, it would be a blessing. Oh no, there is also abuse, violence, nasty vile, deranged, egomaniacs that poison women's lives daily...
On male violence you must know that among women aged between 15 - 44, acts of violence cause more death and disability than cancer, malaria, traffic accidents & war combined.
Boredom is the tip of the iceberg "dear men". The Truth is that you fucked up and fucked up big time...violence, wars, market collapses, pollution and ecological disasters, death industries, gang crimes, prison systems, rape and the rest...
YES all of these are fruits of your labor...your "hard work" of many centuries...
You have failed - FAILED - and failed big time. You have failed as human beings and failed as MEN.
You have cheated, lied, abused, oppressed, raped, stolen, exploited, killed...most acts of crime are committed by you, acts of war are committed by you, violence is committed by you and rape is committed by you...
Of course, some women cheer you in your crimes and abuse, and some women, some stupid, empty, soulless desperate women, follow you like sheep...and they sit and cry wolf later...but bottom line you are the ones who are ultimately RESPONSIBLE for the mess we have found ourselves in, you are ultimately responsible for the dire state of affairs the planet finds itself in...
When I look at all the damage, I can't help wonder what kind of parents you had, what kind of fathers and more importantly what kind of mothers gave birth to such ugliness like yourselves. You have indeed turned this place into a very ugly one.
And the day you own up to your acts and make serious amends is the day that salvation is possible but not before...
So getting back to female polygamy, compared to all the crimes you men have committed, and are committing daily, crimes against planet Earth, crimes against women and children, crimes against your fellow men, is it such a big deal if in the face of all of this, a woman demands the right to have a second husband ? I think not.
Personally I would not want to run the risk of ending up with a first dickhead, let alone a second one.
And I guess that sums it all up.
