Wednesday 21 July 2010

Psychotic, Suicidal ? No and Fuck You !

THIS BLOG IS NOT FOR REPRODUCTION - REPUBLISHING

You know something, I get quite a few emails from "sober, leveled, balanced, sane " individuals, mostly Americans, who are terribly worried about my psychological state...

Honestly, I have received many emails from so called "well wishers" wondering when is my ultimate psychotic episode, my ultimate psychotic breakdown - for, according to them, I am in some pre-psychotic limbo, and there is just one trigger, for which they are earnestly waiting for to happen, before I sink into a full psychosis. This is how they perceive it...and this is what they are waiting for...hoping for...

But you see this is the typical American way - pointing the finger outwards, always...the other person is psychotic...but "we've got nothing to do with it "....

I can assure you, I am far from being psychotic...I am actually very lucid, in full control, very aware, and very much tuned in into your shit without being affected by it...

You see -- the invader, government and people -- will inflict the worst of the worst, and will sit on the sidelines and wait for you to crumble...and you don't...keeping your sanity becomes your ultimate resistance...

They want to drive you mad...They know, these sons of whores, how their actions will drive anyone insane and this what they keep hoping for...for you to become insane... to break down...to split, to disintegrate, to eventually beg...

Who said torture is only physical ?

If you are on the path, if you say the Truth, if you tingle, tease, those little end nerves of theirs...trust me...trust me...they will go for your jugular...

Oh sure, you can be polite and logical all you want..that is fine...but don't hit the raw nerve...RAW NERVE.

You can only hit at the raw nerve because you are raw yourself...right ?

And this is when the battle becomes interesting...

You can write, talk, pontificate as much as you like -- using logic...no one gives a fuck about that...logic is in vogue, it keeps you within the wanted, acceptable parameters...

Hit the raw nerve...and sit back and watch...

Raw nerves are all about survival, sanity and madness aren't they ?

Sure they are...

This is how the son of a bitch thinks; he/she will eventually break down...take away his family, his livelihood, his home, - make him vulnerable, if he resists you, torture him, rape him, threaten him---if he resists you some more, kill him and if you cannot kill him physically, if you cannot finish him off, then kill him morally...turn him/her into a moral vegetable...let him be ruled by Fear, and nothing but Fear...

Fear is the basis of all psychosis...of all suicides...hidden under many layers of other things, of other rationalizations...

They will make you so fearful that you will want to escape, take a trip into psychosis...

They will try everything ---I am not exaggerating and believe me when I say to you they will try everything...

They will go for your most vulnerable self. Your family, your loved ones, your children, your private parts, your secrets, your intimacy...to everything and anything you hold dear and that gives you a sense of being here, a sense of belonging, a sense of protection, a sense of cover and they will want to kill it...obliterate it...

But you hold on...you hold on, and hold on some more...and this is your Resistance.

This is your soul resisting, and not you...this is your soul resisting because you have surrendered to something much greater...You have surrendered to something that holds your soul and theirs by the tips of His fingers...and you know, you know, that all of you, are puppets held by a string...

And it becomes your turn to sit and watch...Just sit and watch...


P.S : The above is also applicable to the personal...away from "Politics".