Endless Ramblings. 5. Unconditional Love.

It's late here and I really ought to get my ass in bed. But could not resist the urge to jot down a few lines regarding this perpetuated myth of being "unconditionally" loved and accepted by the other. I am specifically referring here to male female relationships.

Both, men and women suffer from this insane belief. Women to a much lesser extent since they have been socialized to endlessly give and give and give to the point of emotional and mental exhaustion.

Men on the other hand, deeply harbor the belief that; if they meet the woman who will accept and love them unconditionally, then their lives will finally turn around...

Unconditionally, no matter what.

No matter what they do, say...no matter how they act, behave...no matter the omissions, the twisting, the fabrications, the manipulations, the crookedness, the deceptiveness, the deviousness, the meanness, the betrayals, the infidelities, the disappointments, the let downs, the cruelty, the immaturity, the irresponsibility, the vindictiveness, the brutality, the harshness, the indifference, the sulking and pouting and yes men sulk and pout like nobody's business, no matter...

Excuse me, but why should any woman accept the unacceptable and love the unlovable ?

What is this idiotic arrogance that rules your brains - assuming you have one, that tells you that you deserve nothing short of total unconditional love and acceptance from your wives, partners, girlfriends...? And why should it be so ?

I mean what is so special about you guys that one has to sacrifice one's integrity, well being, sanity, peace of mind, mental, physical, emotional health...to accommodate such an irrational belief that can be traced back to when you were suckling at your mother's breasts.

No darlings, romance and love don't work that way...

Even between mother and child, there are conditions, unspoken consensual agreements...
There is NO such thing as unconditional love and acceptance between a man and a woman...It may come about later, after years of living and putting up with each other and in particular putting up with your shit, but sorry to disappoint you, it is not a given. Nor should it be.

Hello, this is adulthood here.

You want unconditional acceptance and love, sure thing, go to your local worship place and implore God, chances are even He/She/It, will tell you to shape up first...before you can experience it.

Or if you are not bent on the God concept, consult a healer, a therapist, a witch, a sorcerer to exorcise you first.

And if you are too logical and rational and scientifically inclined, and you don't believe in all this "hocus pocus" there is a short cut - hire a nurse or a friggin nanny. Chances are, that she too, will resign from her vocation, in no time...

So yes darlings, you want to be loved unconditionally, who doesn't? Women want it too, but we gave up on that one, coming from you centuries ago...

Next time you heavily flirt with that irrational puerile belief in your heads, look at yourselves in the mirror and ask - do I really deserve it ?

Endless Ramblings. 4 - Danish Cartoons.

I don't know if you have noticed it or not, but I have never written or alluded to the Danish cartoons in the past.
I am, of course, assuming that you know what the Danish cartoons are all about.
In sum, they portray the Prophet Mohammed, (Peace & Blessings upon him) as some vile, lewd, ugly, violent character...in short, a terrorist. Another weapon in the "war against terror". And in that war against "terror", how many Muslims were ruthlessly tortured and murdered ! How many Muslims compared to Christians, Jews and others ? Millions, millions...

"Arab" "leftists" (and others) of all colors and shapes, thinking themselves to be very ideologically "cool", always use the threat of the Danish cartoons as some satirical reminder that there are more "important" issues than a set of cartoons drawn up in Denmark. What they are really telling us is - why the fuss ?

And tonight, I will tell you, hypocritical sods, why the fuss around "just cartoons."

Well you idiots, it is precisely this - cartoons making fun, mocking a crucial symbol for Muslims - their Prophet. And yes for us Muslims, the Prophet is our Qutb. Our central point of reference. Through him, we received the Message. He is the sacred recipient of the Divine Word.

Your mockery, you lowly scum, is ever so reminiscent of "orientalists" (a polite word for fucked up racist), and their description of the "Mohammedans" (as these vermin called/call us) and the Arabs, descriptions that abound in their travel biographies to the lands of the "green Crescent".

Furthermore, you hypocrites, whatever your political colors, you know damn well that since Muslims have accepted and embraced previous religions and therefore previous Prophets as all carrying the same intrinsic Divine message,and as per the Book, they would not dare publish similar crap regarding a Moses or a Jesus...

Moreover, you ideologically corrupt arrogant pieces of shits, you know damn well, that no Arab country or newspaper will ever allow the publication of cartoons mocking a prophet whose name is mentioned in the Holy Book.

Also, you hypocritical bastards, you rotten to the core foul smelling vermin, you would have jumped like a bunch of monkeys on heat, had anyone drawn a cartoon that in your putrid dictionary of politically correct horseshit would be considered "anti-semitic". Oh and how you would jump, reminding us all of the very "serious" difference between "Zionism" and "Jewishness".

Yet you pile of intellectual and political stinking garbage, have zero qualms of using the Danish cartoons to mock even further...knowing fully well, that no Muslim will stoop to your lowly level and throw similar racist, derogatory junk regarding your religions and prophets in your face.

And am not done yet...

For me you are no different from the racist, Jewish colonial settler who blasphemes and spits on Jesus and Mary...

In other words, you bastards, and you hear me right, for me you are nothing but a replica of the above, except in your cowardice, you would not dare respond in the like to some fucked up Zionist racist Jew (a bit like you really) but you would abuse the respect that Islam holds for other religions and take that as a weakness, a point of entry for your mockery in the name of "progressive, liberal" politics.

In fact you are all a copy of the Danish cartoonists. Ignorant, racist, myopic and worse of all, lecherously gleeful hypocrites and spineless cowards.

Endless Ramblings. 3 - Fasting & Ramadan.

Went to the grocery store this afternoon, the owner who is a nice pleasant guy, welcomed me in his usual friendly way :

- Ramadan Kareem.
- To you too, Ramadanak Mabrook.
- So how is fasting with you ? he asked.
- Al Hamdu lil'lah
- So are you fasting ? he kept pushing
- No am not fasting.
- Why are you not fasting ?

I thought to myself - cool it girl, this guy is obviously an idiot and for many reasons...
One is allowed not to fast if one is sick, has a medical condition, has her periods, is pregnant, is breastfeeding, is travelling or simply does not want to fast as the Koran states clearly "There is no compulsion in religion".

Besides, fasting is something between you and God, not between you and man. And as long as you are respecting other peoples fast, as long as you abstain from drinking, eating and smoking in front of them, it is really none of their friggin business if you are fasting or not.

But obviously this guy thought differently.


- So why are you not fasting ?
- I have my reasons, I said.
- What reasons ?
- What's the total ?
- Sorry, it was only a wish that you fast, he continued.

I left the grocery store feeling rather pissed off. Not only it is none of his fucking business if I fast or not, but he really did not have to put me in an embarrassing situation like that in front of others...I bit my tongue, and refrained from giving it to him ten fold, because he was fasting and I respected that and did not want to make a fool out of him in public. I said to myself - ignore the ignorant...

So that got me thinking about Fasting and Ramadan. I amused myself with some of these thoughts as I walked back to my apartment...

I said to myself -- okay, so all those who fast are much better humans than I am. Good for them.

All the militias in Baghdad with their stinking beards and silver rings dripped in blood and who are presumably fasting are much better than me.
All the thieves and corrupt sons of bitches in the Iraqi government who are fasting are much better than me.
All the Muslim leaders who are observing Fast and enslaving their people are better than me.
All the fasting merchants who inflate prices and exploit people are better than me.
All the fasting sheikhs and princes who fornicate, squander wealth, and sow corruption are better than me.
All the supposedly Muslim men and women who lie, cheat, steal, backbite, manipulate, fabricate, slander, gossip, defame, oppress, brutalize...are better than me.
They will all be forgiven their sins and they will all be purified this Ramadan, except me.
They will all go to Paradise, and I will go to Hell...

Now the question is do I really want to end up with them in Paradise in the first place ? I guess not.

Next time someone asks me if I am fasting, I will tell them why am not.

Alf Layla Wa Layla...

This is pure Arabic Tarab. Tarab means the art of both singing and listening.
Tarab means being drunk by music. Mutrib means singer. The singer ought to make you drunk...Matroob, means the state of being in Tarab, and Mutareb means the state of disequilibrium, imbalance...

There is another word which you also need to learn tonight which is "sama'". Sama' is the art of listening for you to get matroob

Who other than Umm Kulthum can bring on those states ? With her it's very simple, you either love her or hate her. There is no in-between.

And Umm Kulthum is for connoisseurs.

This is a long song, in 5 parts. I have chosen to upload part 2 because if you sama' carefully, you will discover the magic of her voice and the way she improvises on each word, she is the one who masters the music and not the other way round...

But it is a long song in 5 parts.

Yes, we like to take our time...

Definitely not for ears used to nonsensical cacophonies.

Unfortunately don't have time to translate the enchanting lyrics. But who says one has to understand the words to appreciate ? Not if you listen with your heart, no translators are needed.

Oh and the song's title is Alf Layla wa Layla - 1001 Nights.

Part 2



Part 1, 3, 4 and 5 can be listened to here.

Thanks to Robert Dominkovic for posting the whole song on youtube.

Some Thoughts on the Hijab...

A friend reading my previous post on the tattered caftan, which I refuse to let go of, and which has travelled with me thousands of miles, took pity I suppose, and sent me a very nice youtube video on some beautiful caftans...

Of course, I started surfing the other related videos and fell on some "how to wear a hijab" - different fashionable styles of wearing it, quite colorful and very pretty.

I am talking here of the Hijab as in head veil, or headscarf, not to be confused with burqa, purdah, pushiya, yashmak, all synonyms for face cover/veil.

A woman can be veiled and still look very stylish, for sure.

A whole industry in the Muslim world is geared towards Hijabi fashion. The scarves, the dresses, the coats etc...

I think there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Quite the contrary. In certain instances it does serve a specific purpose.

I have veiled myself on occasion, when visiting what I'd call popular areas, in a few Arab capitals, and frankly I felt much more at ease circulating there with a Hijab on. I was not harassed and was left in peace. I felt protected.

I suppose the fact that I wore the Hijab gave a signal to the men that I was off limit. A barrier was in place. I was not to be approached in any way, shape or form...

I tried going to those same areas with no Hijab and the experience was most unpleasant.

So I am talking from experience here.

So while watching those videos on the Hijab it got me thinking about the real meaning behind it.

At the time of the Prophet, the first women to wear the Hijab were his wives, in order for them to be recognized as "apart" from the rest and in the specific historical context, it provided them protection from onlookers. They were not public property. They were not slaves. They were muslimahs - i.e Free women.
I suppose this then extended to the rest of the nascent female Muslim community to designate them as off limit to strangers...

Interestingly the word HIJAB comes from the verb HAJABA which means to veil, to separate, to protect, to delineate a border, to mark a distance...

A religious talisman with protective powers is also called a HIJAB.

Curiously, EYEBROW in Arabic is HAJEB. The diaphragm is HAJEZ. A checkpoint is also called a HAJEZ. An obstacle can also be referred to as HAJEZ. Anything that prevents you from having easy access to something is considered HAJEZ.

The root is Ha and Jeem i.e. H.J. which is found is HIJAB.

The Eyebrow is the border between the eye and the forehead. The Diaphragm is the border between the lower torso and the upper torso, and a checkpoint /barrier is also a border...so is the Hijab.

So yes, the Hijab can be a form of protection for FREE women, distancing intruders and putting a barrier, a border between themselves and the intruding men.

The Hijab on the other hand is NOT a tool by the men to enslave FREE women, by forcefully veiling them. This is not the primary CONTEXTUAL intention and meaning behind the Hijab.

And between the initial intention and what men made out of it, lies a world of difference and a world of consequences...

P.S; And here am just limiting myself to the exegetical interpretation of the veil. I have not even tackled the esoteric aspect of it and its symbolic analogy.

Tears & Pieces...

- Mamma, can you sow this for me please?

- Layla, for God's sake, what is this and what are all those tears ? this thing is in pieces...

- It's my old caftan.

- Well I can see that, how old is it ?

- About 20 years.

- I can't believe you brought this with you.

- Why not, I love it.

- What is it you love about it ??? It's torn apart, has holes, and is discolored.

- Yes I know, but I love it.

- I can't believe you've kept it for 20 years, honestly!!! You have much nicer caftans to wear. What about aunt Nidal's present from Medina - now that's a nice one...give this to me, I need some dusting cloths. It's in tatters anyway.

- NO! I like this caftan and am keeping it. Besides am not wearing it in public...

- Layla, it's torn apart, can't you see ?!

- Yumma, are you going to fix it or not ?

- How can I fix it, the fabric is finished, too old ya bintee...and where did you get it from anyway?

- Baba brought it back for me from Morocco. Remember when he went to Morocco ?

- Ya bintee, that was over 20 years ago, I can't believe you've kept it.

- So are you going to try and mend it for me or not ?

- Wallah you are wasting my time, but I will try...

- Thank you Yumma. I knew you would.

Another Musical Discovery.

Just discovered this song on youtube. I think the singer must be Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan's son or grandson, am not too sure.
If there is anyone who reads this blog and is an Urdu speaker, I would greatly appreciate a short translation.
I particularly like the picture. A woman raising her arms to the sky...very telling.
I have been walking around with my arms up for quite some time now...

On another note, I was thinking since I share my music with you out there, should I share some of my cooking recipes as well ?
Maybe that would be giving too much.
Yeah, I think so too.

A Great Woman.

The great South African woman - Miriam Makeba - who stabbed Apartheid in its heart, with her being and her songs. For me she will always remain an icon of a Liberation struggle.
God bless her soul, always.

Endless Ramblings 2. - Masculine Shadows.

Pray tell me, what the fuck is wrong with men ?
This is getting beyond the ugly and the absurd. It's as if these walking shadows have done nothing for centuries but tap into the most vile elements of the male archetype.
What is going on here ?
Full of ego, full of denial, swimming in deceit and lies, incapable of facing themselves, their acts, their thoughts, their impulses, strangers to themselves and to the world at large, totally self unaware, on a mental, physical rampage, surviving on ego alone, pretending they are gods, deforming, perverting, prostituting everything on their paths, from nature, to religion, to love, to sexuality...what the fuck is wrong with you guys ?

From the private and the personal to the collective, from the intimate to the public, form the inside to the outside, the masculine has screwed up big time and will continue doing so if not stopped.

And don't you fucking dare give me this shit about not generalizing. I am GENERALIZING because I have every good reason to generalize. You and the women that blindly follow like sheep, if they want to remain ostriches with their heads up their asses, this is not my problem, this is theirs and yours.

The shadow men and their vile fucked up egos, are an aberration to God, to sane, lucid women and definitely to me.

In the personal sphere, they cheat, they lie, they fabricate, they brutalize, they crush, they humiliate, they slander, they manipulate, and with all the evil innocence of the world, they will look at you with a straight face and say - why what have I done ?!

They are totally incapable of owning up to their acts and their words. Even the language of love becomes another weapon to be used, even the language of sex is another weapon to be used...

Failed verminous creatures is what these "men" are. And the world is full of them.
It is no surprise that religious texts address men in the first place and not the women, the Divine knows how fucked up these can turn out to be.

The male ego in its shadow form and most of the time it has not evolved from the shadows is stupid, empty, shallow and ignorant.

How many times did you ever hear a man say in all sincerity - I fucked up big time, I am truly sorry, and mends his ways with acts ? Follow through with acts ? How many times in all honesty ?

It all remains on the level of words, cheap talk. And they wonder why they are not respected, and they wonder why they are dumped, and they wonder why they are rejected and feel unloved and misunderstood.

It is because you idiots have miserably failed to look within yourselves and be brutally honest with yourselves. That is why.

Oh but you are good preachers aren't you ? You will sit, with pompous airs infused with theoretical knowledge and information, pontificating from your dicks and the recesses of your limbic system, where the bestial instincts are crowned with sophisticated wordings...You will sit and preach about God, morality, ethics, politics, the economy, the state of the world and in your private lives you are nothing but garbage.

And being the garbage that you are, you will chose and marry garbage women like yourselves and reproduce more garbage, generations of garbage and the end result is what we are witnessing today. Garbage societies, rotten to the core, producing more garbage...

Producing more shadows, more killings, more pain, more suffering, more death.

In fact you sons of bitches, you are the anti-thesis of Life. You are the angels of Death roaming on this earth.

And am not even talking about physical death alone here. Because physical death will take you too, insh'Allah to a place of no return and you better remember that Truth next time you fart from your egos. Am talking of a Soul death here. You are the killers of the Souls.

Today is Friday, a group of you will go and pray in congregation, imploring the Divine.

Tomorrow on Saturday, another group of you will go and implore Elohim with false piety.

The day after tomorrow, another group will go and toll the bells for the Holy Spirit.

And in the course of the coming Week, others will worship their own Gods...money, sex and death...

In the end, you all are worshiping the same - your egos.

God, will take all of your devotions, prayers and worships, pieces of smelly rags and will bundle them together and throw them straight back in your faces.

And She will say - Falsehood and Lies.

Nostalgia...

Ah nostalgia, Ah the pain of remembrance !

I was listening to this song and it all came back, all so suddenly...flooding me with such sweet feelings...

Endless Ramblings.1.- Discourses.

Ramadan is coming up this Saturday. Got me thinking about organized religion. Am allergic to organized religion.

Actually this is not correct. I am not allergic to organized religion, am allergic to the mob effect and the mob mentality on religion.

But then one finds those in all forms of organizations, including political parties and movements. The mob/crowd effect for me is intellectually devastating and stifles all creativity and independent inquiry.

This is most felt in official religious discourses (whatever the religion). Nothing used to put me better to sleep than an official church or mosque sermon.

At the beginning it used to fill me with fear - terrorized psyches by religious discourses, now it simply puts me to sleep or makes me very angry for I find these mainstream discourses offensive to intelligence and to the God concept.

Political discourses have the same effect on me by the way. That is why I find party lines to be not only stupid but also very boring.

Again it's the mob/crowd/group effect.

Bring any idea/ concept and let a crowd/group of "humans" handle it and you can be sure they will pervert and deform it.

Female Stoning Session

A nice role reversal.

Child Brides...

I am usually quite careful when I choose to post a political video - especially when the author is an American journalist talking about gender issues in Muslim countries.


And even though, I am aware that a lot of propaganda has been spun against the Talibans - the Afghan resistance, for obvious reasons, I still feel that this is an important video to watch.

I don't agree that the Talibans themselves are the root cause of this phenomena, as the video seems to imply, however I do not completely absolve them nor do I absolve the misogynistic culture, from which they and others - other men, regardless of their religion and/or nationality, have sprung from.

I am also very aware that the same happens in Hindu India, in Christian or animist Africa, and in Buddhist Asia, where a whole tourist industry is based on the willful prostitution of girls as young as 11/12 by their own families, catering for Western male tourists (which in my opinion is even worse than child brides) yet we don't get to hear much about those...

And it happens too, in your own cities, but in your case, it is not called giving away in marriage, it is called incest because a male member of the family is usually involved. Of course, I am not even broaching teen age pregnancies in the West either, nor 13-15 years old girls already on the pill.

Having said that, I am hoping that this video will be my starting ground for a series of posts on related issues, pertaining to the same problematic. "Problematic" is a polite understatement. But let's keep it at that for the time being.

And trust me, if I tell you, I have quite a bit to say on these matters. So brace yourselves, in particular the male readers and to a lesser extent the female readers too, for neither gender will be spared.



Economist Magazine videos: Stephanie Sinclair, a photographer, spent time from 2003 onwards with child brides in Afghanistan. Girls as young as 8 are married off to settle debts and disputes or sold to raise money. 14th August, 2009.

If You Forget Me...

Poem by Pablo Neruda.



I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
my love, my own ,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.

Youtube: Selvo 68. September 6, 2008.

Bullshit Men...

Hell, am on a roll today...

I truly despise bullshit men. Let me tell you something that most women share with me
-- a coward is NOT a turn on.

And when you guys TRY to bullshit us with some cock and bull story - we know it. You turn us off. We no longer fancy you and we are no longer attracted to you, even though some of us pretend otherwise - for a limited time.

We basically see you as a fucking coward who can't own up.

It's that simple really.

Get it ? Or should I draw you a picture ?

Missed Opportunities...

The Caliph Omar said there are three things you cannot retrieve/take back.

A word uttered in an unthoughtful moment of anger
An arrow speared in the wrong direction
and an offered opportunity that you missed...

I like to think that being in my 40's, heading towards my 50's am past these lessons. In many ways, I am. Even in my utmost moments of anger, I think beforehand...
I don't throw arrows unless I am sure I can weather the consequences of my act.
And I weigh opportunities to tell if they are real or not...

In that sense, I can say with a peaceful state of mind that I don't regret any of my acts as per the above definition of "missed opportunities".

Let me get to the crux of the matter now.

I went for a brisk walk this early evening. I would have wanted to sprint/jog instead, but when a physiotherapist friend of mine told me that jogging leads to bladder incontinence later on in life - I thought against it.

But guys, you can go ahead...your bladder will not descend between your knees, unless you have prostate dysfunction, elevated uric acid or just the old boring knee/back problem.

Come on now, we know you got those problems but you hide them - not too well, may I add.

I generally like to remind guys of these truths, because they seem to think themselves immune to change and to the proverbial law of gravity.

Mission accomplished - I think.

Anyway back to my story. Here I was brisk walking with my mp3 which I don't even know how to use, and lo and behold, who do I bump into ? None but S.

I could not believe my lying eyes. Had not seen S. in ages.

I don't know about elevated uric acid but this guy had changed - big time.

- Oh my God S. what are you doing here ?

- What are YOU doing here ? he retorted.

We had forgotten for a moment...

- Let's have coffee, he said.

- Sure. To hell with keeping fit, I thought to myself.

S. had definitely changed. He looked much older. Lost tons of weight. Was very unemployed and very broke - like so many of us.

- So how is your wife ?

- We have parted.

- Sorry to hear that.

- Don't be. Is there anything that has not changed in our lives ?

I tried diverting the subject...

- So tell me how have you been ?

So he went on...told me about where he's at and said "en passant"

- I met the woman of my life.

That got me very excited, I wanted to know all about her. It is most rare to meet the woman or man of your life, so I probed...

- She came here on a holiday. She had re-settled in America. She is an accomplished artist, you know...

- Yes and ?

- She was it. This was the woman for me.

- And ??? Tell me...I urged.

- Then she had to go back, so we parted.

- What the fuck ?! Are you serious ? How could you let her go ? You are crazy.

- She lives abroad...

- So fucking what ?! You, she, arrange to join her or her join you.

- But she is an artist, am just a computer programmer.

I could not believe my ears...

- So bloody what any of you two do - the important thing is it happened. You met the woman of your life and am assuming she feels the same way.

- Yes she does, but...

- For God's sake what but are you on about ???!!!!

- Layla, imagine every time we talk, and it's been over 2 years now, it's like we are back to day 1.


I could not believe my ears...I really could not.

Here was a guy who met a woman, his soul mate and here was a woman who met her's and they were both too scared to make it happen !!!

There was nothing I could say that would ease S.'s fear of true love. Nothing I could say that would shake off his archaic fear, in which he seemed to be frozen for eternity...

We changed subjects and chatted about other things...

I walked slowly back home, feeling quite sad in an osmotic kind of way, repeating to myself Sayyedna Omar's wisdom, as if to absolve myself...

Kiss & Tell...

Was zapping the other night - TV that is...

I landed on this sell-porn channel. Some half naked woman shows bits and pieces of meat then a number flashes on the screen with : "call xxx.xxx. for some no nonsense, no blah blah, no expectations encounters. They are all waiting just to please you."

Hahahahaha.

Bet you guys believe that shit.

Of course they would. This is what a lot of men fantasize about. No nonsense = no foreplay, no kissing, no intimacy... no blah blah = no talking, no voicing anything but pleasure at the sight of this dickhead...no expectations = no commitment, no feelings, no romance, no sentiments, no love...just sex - his kind of sex.

Bam, wham and not even a thank you ma'am.

Men would go so far as to pay for that crap just to fulfill the fantasy of unadulterated sex with this mythical sex bomb kind of woman...

This is how the porn industry flourishes - it understood that basic twisted perversion of the male psyche.

This reminded me of a conversation I had some time ago with a female friend. She complained that her partner hardly ever kissed her. I just popped out the truth - the genie was out of the bottle - I said to her, seeing his past lifestyle, am sure he is too used to visiting prostitutes. Prostitutes don't kiss their clients, unless they are made to pay double sums, and not even...

This female friend got very offended by my bluntness and we lost touch...

I heard as of late that she dumped her "beau". She found out that his old habits never died. He was ruled by his fantasy and he never stopped paying for it. He was ruled by this very real male fantasy by which this whole cursed industry is perpetuated...

The vicious circle .


A question of no kiss and just tail...

I say - don't kiss that tale.

I say - kiss and tell...






Painting : Iraqi artist, Saad Ali.

Thanks to Life.

Beautiful song - interpreted by Mercedes de Sosa - original version by Violeta Parra.

Gracias a la Vida - Thanks to Life.

And thanks to GLM for temporary solving my keyboard problem with the genial idea of the on-screen keyboard.


Translation

Thanks to life, which has given me so much.
It gave me two beams of light, that when opened,
Can perfectly distinguish black from white
And in the sky above, her starry backdrop,
And from within the multitude
The one that I love.

Thanks to life, which has given me so much.
It gave me an ear that, in all of its width
Records— night and day—crickets and canaries,
Hammers and turbines and bricks and storms,
And the tender voice of my beloved.

Thanks to life, which has given me so much.
It gave me sound and the alphabet.
With them the words that I think and declare:
"Mother," "Friend," "Brother" and the light shining.
The route of the soul from which comes love.

Thanks to life, which has given me so much.
It gave me the ability to walk with my tired feet.
With them I have traversed cities and puddles
Valleys and deserts, mountains and plains.
And your house, your street and your patio.

Thanks to life, which has given me so much.
It gave me a heart, that causes my frame to shudder,
When I see the fruit of the human brain,
When I see good so far from bad,
When I see within the clarity of your eyes...

Thanks to life, which has given me so much.
It gave me laughter and it gave me longing.
With them I distinguish happiness and pain—
The two materials from which my songs are formed,
And your song, as well, which is the same song.
And everyone's song, which is my very song.

Thanks to life...



Youtube : Soror, May 28th, 2006

Miscellaneous Ramblings...

I. Matter.

I have a major problem with Matter. Actually it's my Keyboard. Keyboard is matter, no?
The alphabet is getting unglued. So, I need to find other means to type certain letters. For instance the A does not exist anymore. There's just an empty space where the A used to be, covered with a tiny bit of rubber which I tried gluing over and over again. So I needed to devise a way by which the A comes out on the screen. I took a pin and every time I need to type A, I use the pin instead of my finger. Someone suggested I get a new keyboard. Not an option. This means I will have to change my whole computer, which is unthinkable for now. When the pin fails, I need to use my finger and press at a certain angle of the leftover bit of rubber. It is a meticulous process...
This is to tell you that writing has become very difficult due to "material constraints".
Which brings me to think of Matter. I am not against Matter. Matter exists in nature and you and I are made of it. Without it, we would not be here. Matter is not the anti-thesis of Spirit. Matter is the lieu where Spirit manifests itself.

Nature, the body, the home, the bed, the kitchen, the work place, the pen and the paper, the keyboard...are all a lieu where Spirit visits.

In my case, I need to use a pin to make the visit complete, even though my fingers are blistered from too much pressing...


II. Iraq - the Concept.

will be continued later...

Too Beautiful...

This is too beautiful not to upload.

Later on, I may write about the source of these musical melodies.

A common Source from which musical bridges were extended through to Iran, into Afghanistan, central Asia and beyond...

Into Turkey, Greece, Southern Italy, the Balkans, and beyond right into the heart of Eastern Europe...

Through North Africa, passing by Gibraltar, into Southern Spain...




Dear Y, provided the translation to the lyrics.

Nothing has changed, I keep loving you
nothing has changed, I keep loving you
if I don't see you, if I don't see you, if I don't see you I'll go mad...

I kept your scent to have as talisman
I kept your scent to have as talisman
if I don't see you, if I don't see you, if I don't see you I'll go mad...

Let me get lost in your eyes forever
let me get lost in your eyes forever
if I don't see you, if I don't see you, if I don't see you I'll go mad...

Nothing has changed, I keep loving you
please don't leave me alone anymore
if I don't see you, if I don't see you, if I don't see you I'll go mad...



Youtube - by Soukoumai, February 23, 2009.

Dickhead Seduction.

L. suggested we go out (yesterday night) for a drink. She needed to "talk".

L's talking consists of long boring monologues, which soon fade the minute a guy catches her attention, or more like, the minute she manages to catch a guy's attention.

I am not backbiting or anything, besides you don't even know who L. is. I even told her so in her face - I said to her you come across as too desperate. Get a fucking grip. She did not like it and I remember her saying - this is exactly the problem. I have nothing to fucking grip.

I thought that to be quite amusing, but I still maintain that she does come across as too desperate and guys know it.

Anyway L. went into one of her monologues that can only be bearable with some serious doses of alcohol. The only problem is the more she drinks the longer the monologues get. So I, in my mischievous mind earnestly prayed that the alcohol works its way into a full "flaunt-it" seduction game - where she can finally spread her charms and give my poor ears a break. I prayed that any dickhead starts chatting her up, so she can get off my back, for a while at least - enough time for me to recuperate from this boring verbal diarrhea gushing out from her mouth, non stop.

God answered my prayers and walked in these two guys and sat next to us. One of them started chatting her up - thankfully. The other dude was left twiddling his thumbs, occasionally pretending to check his non-forthcoming text messages.

The two guys were like younger than us, than L and I - at least 10 years younger. I'd say more. I knew it because they were playing some techno shit from this year's repertoire of techno shit and the guy with twiddling thumbs knew the lyrics by heart. Lyrics is too much of a word to use for techno shit but whatever - you know what I mean.

A classic opening line.

Twiddling thumbs Guy (TTG) - Your face is familiar, have seen you here before.

Bored sardonic Layla (BSL) - Possibly. Sorry can't remember faces. Been diagnosed with early stage Alzheimer.

TTG - hehehehehe, you're too young for this.

BSL - nope am not, am at least 15 years older than you.

TTG - age is only numbers

BSL - not when you can sing to 2009 techno lyrics.

TTG - hehehehehe, you're cute.

BSL - cute ?

TTG - I meant attractive.

BSL thought to herself, here's come the twist - the rest is going to be too predictable...

TTG - seriously, I have seen you here before.

BSL - Aah, airs of familiarity...

TTG drank too fast, as if he was trying to get somewhere...as if the alcohol was going to evaporate in no time. Of course he was plucking courage for his next move.

TTG with enough alcohol circulating in his system, finally came round. I was just waiting...patiently so, only because I like my theories to be confirmed. And they are, invariably so, eventually...

By then, L. was plastered, probably fantasizing of altars and wedding bells.

TTG - you know, I fancy you.

BSL - yes so ?

TTG - well you are a mature woman, and we are both adults...

At this point, I broke out in laughter. Sure am a mature woman but him being an adult was a little far fetched.

For starters he sang lyrics to techno shit. Not only that, he had absolutely nothing of interest to say. He was good looking, and he knew it and he thought that was sufficient to have women, me, swoon over him. Maybe idiotic 20/30 something would, but hell, where am at - a guy needs to have more than a cute ass and something between his ears (not his dick) to capture my attention...

TTG - you are difficult. Why are you doing that ?

BSL - Are you okay in your "head" ? Difficult in what ?

Of course I knew what he was implying. I was difficult for resisting/ refusing his "charms".

BSL - I think you've had too much to drink. Approach me tomorrow, when you are sober enough.

By then TTG's speech was slurred with too much ethanol. Whatever charm he might have had evaporated as his tongue weighed down with drunkenness went s.l.o.w.e.r...

TTG - you don't fancy me, that's the real reason.

I was hoping he would not start crying and sniffing his tears on my dress, just fresh from the dry cleaners, like those little crushed boys who rush wailing to their mother's lap and she dries them with her apron...

He redressed himself, putting on air of a last minute retrieved virility.

TTG - I fancied you. It either yes or no. Anyway, it's your loss.

I laughed some more, patted him on the shoulder as if to say "it's okay my little one, you'll get over it".

L. did not want to leave. I left her with her illusions. Ordered a cab and smiled all the way back home...

An Air from Babylon - A Babylon Mood.

A beautiful piece by the Oud Master - the late Munir Bachir, from his CD "Babylon Mood".
The sound is not too good -- it is an old recording and frankly I don't care. It is an air from Babylon and this is what matters most, to me.

This video was done by Iraqart2003 - July 06, 2008.

Done with It. - UPDATE.

A new discovery for me - beautiful voice and song from Pitsa Papadopoulo.
She is basically saying - Fuck it All - in a nice, poetic, Greek way.
Once I get all the translation together, I will update you.

Got a partial translation,(thank you Y.) added some more from my gathering bits and pieces here and there...

Now am onto my second cup of Turkish, Greek, Arabic, coffee - don't know what you want to call it exactly. I call it Arabic because the Turks and the Greeks don't flavor it with Cardamon seeds. You see, it's the scent that makes all the difference.


I will break all

I will break all down in pieces and I'll go away
I will break all down in real
you eat, chip away at my life little by little
I will break all down and I will climb on mountains

I am disgusting from everyone and everything
I don't want nothing no more
I am disgusting from everyone and everything
and especially from myself

I will break all down in pieces and I 'll go away
I will break all down and I put it all on fire
All of you make me drown inside of me
I will break all down and I will go nowhere.

I am disgusting from everyone and everything
I don't want nothing no more
I am disgusting from everyone and everything
and especially from myself.

Now I will listen to only myself
and do what it is in my head
I will no longer listen
to your friendly advice.
for my own good

I will no longer listen to you
you 're doing my life a disaster.
And I will only listen to
what is in my head

All my life
was told to be a good girl
I gave my heart
gave my soul
and I did not even get
a thank you in return

But now, I will only
listen to myself...

Forgive me if the translation does not do total justice to the song- after all Google's Greek and mine are very, very, very, ad-infinitum - rusty.