I have finally found out what my mission in Life is -- How to tap into Yin and not go crazy. Yep that's it.
Well, some of you know that I absolutely loathe, detest, abhor, hate, despise...housework.
Yet each day, I find myself doing what I hate most. It's like an Abu-Ghraibian (a new truism) prelude to me...the 1st act before the tragic occurs...
Each day, I find my elbows deep into soapy dish water and I curse the minutes...
Each day, I have to dust, I feel like tearing the whole upholstery apart...smashing the furniture, kicking the table, chairs, lamps...anything that reminds me that it needs to be dusted...
And the mopping, oh God, the mopping...how I detest you mops and buckets...
And the window cleaning, ahhh the window cleaning...how I want to smash you into tiny bits...
Oh, and the laundry, how can I forget the laundry...taking off the sheets, pillow cases, towels, carrying them to the machine, taking them out the friggin machine, hanging them to dry, not too dry otherwise the ironing becomes mission impossible.
And the ironing, what can I tell you about ironing except that it is torture itself...
Yes, this is how bad I react to housework. So when A.called me all chirpy on the phone, I wanted to slap her too.
- Hey, what's up, you sure sound in some bad mood.
- You bet, bad mood is an understatement, am doing the fucking housework...
- Take it easy ya Layla, look at it as character building.
- Surely there must be other ways to build character no ? Besides everyone complains that I have too much character, next ?
- Okay then, approach it with a Zen attitude...
Of course A. has just come out of her morning Yoga class.
- What friggin Zen, am going crazy here...
- Okay Layla, you know what the Yoga teacher taught us this morning ? She said use every moment of your day to tap into your Yin/Feminine energy - yielding, surrendering like water...
- Oh yeah ? Is that what she taught you today...well let her come and be yielding in this zoo if she can...
- No, Layla, you don't understand...look at this house work as a way of enhancing your Yin, your Femininity, diffuse your feminine energy all around the place and watch it bloom...
- What feminine energy A ?!! I am telling you am hysterical, this is the state of my feminine energy right now !!!...and surely there must also be, other ways of enhancing my Yin, no ? I cook, that's Yin enhancement, I plant, there's another one for you, I dance, I paint, I pray, I write...but sorry A, am very sorry, I have failed to develop a surrendering rapport with the frying pan, pots, brooms and mops, yet...tell your Yoga teacher that I have tried very hard, very, very hard...building my character and enhancing my Yin through chores that I absolutely detest, and nothing bloomed A, nothing...except callouses and blisters on my hands...got it ?
- Okay Layla, seems you are not very Zen this morning...try going for a walk, or reading a book, or something...put music on...
- A. you don't understand, I have kept procrastinating by precisely going out for walks, reading books and listening to music...and now I am immersed in dust...
- Layla, then just do it with a smile...do it with an open chest, with serenity...
- I can't do it with an open chest, am asthmatic to dust...by the way A. how is your house help doing these days ?
- Oh Layla, she's a gift sent from Heaven...a jewel, a precious angel...so what was I telling you...ah yes, do it with....
