Monday 23 May 2011


I am suffocating...I need to fucking breathe...I can't even spell the word correctly...does it take an "e" at the end ? Does it take an "I" ?

Veiled or totally naked...the end result is the same..I need to fucking breathe.

Borrowed this computer for a few days, and am writing as fast as I can. Ha, reminds me of the story of this woman who meets a suave tall dark and handsome man on a dance floor and he tells her am only here for a couple of days and she replies --- am dancing as fast as I can.

It's only when my computer broke down that I realized how addicted I was to writing. Lots of the writing does not go online though. And alas, pen and paper have become a thing of the past. I even have sometimes trouble signing my name, as am so not used to using a pen anymore. Sure I do scribble down stuff, but then trying to read my handwriting later on is hell...

I guess I was suffocating without a computer, without writing. I have become dependent on this machine...that kind of annoys me.

I still had my smart ass phone where I'd vent a little, but then the venting is mutual and from 10000s rants, one or two make sense, the rest is being subjected to massive amounts of garbage and not being able to do much about it.

Oh and the preaching...those fucking preachers follow me everywhere, even on twitter and on my smart ass phone...wagging that index finger, ready to correct you, your language, your thoughts, even your fun...

Sure, am a Muslim and an Arab, I am automatically public property...the little space where I exercise my freedom, even that is it seems.

Quickly reprimanded to toe the line...or alternatively am told am not Muslim enough. Maybe if I put a seductive smile on a veiled head, I'd be kosher. But there's only my foot to speak...

I will write more...later. I find the title of this post alluring.


Our children are as sacred and as precious as yours...if not more

Listen you bitch, you white bitch, just because you got banged, does not make you any holier...

I have seen how you show you off your some fucking miracle...

I tell you, you are no fucking better..nor are you different and you are no fucking miracle did not create sperm nor did you create ovaries, you are like the rest of us, slaves of creation, of biology....your children are no more sacred, nor are your vaginas nor are your wombs...

Your are fucking idiotic females who hate femininity yet show off bulging think that's the best thing that happened to you, yet you spent endless time convincing others of its non importance. That is one of the reasons I shit, literally, on Western Feminists.


I have come to accept that I will never fit it anywhere, this is my destiny being out of place and also my freedom. A double edge sword, but that's just the way it is...

I know I will never fit in any place, culture, discourse, group, be it. Am a nomad and will remain so...that is my destiny.


I want to write but it's impossible, the noise is unbearable. This is not a building this is an animal barn. Am assailed from all sides, above me, beneath me, in front of me, behind me, to my left, to my right...I hate this place with zeal. Fuck it, am stuck...

I am starting to hate the people, I can't take the lies anymore, I can't take the fake niceties, I can't take the deception, I can't take the double standards, I can't take all this piety that amounts to ZERO, I just can't take it anymore.

I hate everyone and everything today. I really do.

The human prides itself ...ha my ass ! What do you pride yourself on you assholes, your phoniness, your endless lies, your fake appearances, your estrangement from yourselves, your injustices, your indifference, your stupidity, your ignorance or your hypocrisy ?

Fuck you all, I want to disappear.