Abu Ali's Blues...

Abu Ali...who doesn't know Abu Ali, that old smelly rotten pub in the basement of a building owned by an Armenian Lebanese.

Abu Ali...

Pictures of revolutionaries decorate the place...a yellowed black and white, and heads bow with tinkling glasses filled with alcohol, to the memory of Che, Castro and the good old days...

Ah, the good old days, of the Arab leftists... the "adiyeh" or "qadiyeh" - cause in English, whichever way you wish to spell it.

Abu Ali...

The notorious Abu Ali, whose toilets are playgrounds for revolutionary test and go...

In other words, and please don't mind my bluntness...his toilets are mini whorehouses...where our revolutionaries can finally pull the ultimate plug/flush ...on the decadent, bourgeois, sexist, reactionary environment in which they are oh so trapped...by fucking any woman under the influence of the "adiyeh" - or cause in English...

To be fair, they are not the only ones. Heard the same line amongst the western "revolutionaries", in the name of Spartacus and Engels...and they all ended up bonking in the name of " Oh God, Jesus Christ !"

But Abu Ali is something else...it's an exotic version of the Spartacus fuck...

Because amidst the dialogue, the dialectical dialogue over glasses of Black Label, or J&B, depending on your revolutionary budget, the agenda was different...

The more bourgeois the woman looked, the greater the resistance, and the greater the "revolution"...ending up in the old insalubrious toilets of Abu Ali, visited by a thousand roaches...

You see, that's the nasty thing about having a middle aged woman spilling the beans...she has no more illusions left. She gives them to you uncooked and hard to chew and digest...And she loves it that way - Al Dente.


Of course, knowing the mentality of the average "revolutionary" and non-revolutionary Arab male, alike, the question that he will try to corner you with and which has become a classic, by now is : - And how do you know...unless....

I know because I've been around asshole. I know because you're still squeezing your zits in front of the picture of some Nasrallah and Guevara, thinking they are one and the same...I know because I have enough patience to listen and observe and hold judgment until I get all my facts...This is how I know.

And I know so well, that I have even predicted your fucked up reaction to all the above...

To be fair and impartial, using the Western press terminology that has led to lots of beefing and sexing up of Iraq's invasion...makes you wonder if they don't have some English Abu Ali's version hidden somewhere in some London/American toilet...because to be fair to Ze Lebanese, they are not the only ones...

So many Iraqis, from the communist party (both branches) because there were two of them then..maybe today there is only one - the Sadrist party of the Chief driller of Muqtada Al-Sadr or maybe they are all affiliated to Dawlat Al Qanun, the Dawa Branch of Al-Maliki.

You see, the Iraqi leftists, who sought exile and wrote poetry for McDonalds and Martin Luther King, hoping...you see the Iraqi leftists who sang " Free Kurdistan", you see the Iraqi leftists who made themselves a name fighting Saddam Hussein...are all Abu Ali's partisans.

Today, and since 2003, they voted for their sects...Today and since 2003, they joined the Drilling party of Muqtada Al-Sadr. Today and since 2003, they hailed the Butcher of Falluja - Allawi...Today and since 2003, they welcomed the invasion but with the usual "anti-imperialist" jargon...Today and since 2003, they are so called atheist but love the regime of the Mullahs...

These Abu Ali's as well as their Lebanese and I must add their Palestinian counterparts must have all fucked the "bourgeois" "Sunni" "decadent" woman in some Abu Ali's seedy bar, after reciting some Pablo Neruda poetry, after some Engels or Marx quote, after some "Qadiyeh" or "Adiyeh" punchline - (cause in Arabic).

To be fair, it is not only Ze Lebanese in Abu Ali's kingdom who are guilty...even though I find Ze Lebanese to the most pathetic people around, in particular their so called "revolutionaries".

But do say hello to Abu Ali and tell him that I know...

POLLUTION...

I'm in an absolutely foul mood. I, honest to God can't take the pollution here anymore...Pollution on all levels.

From garbage pollution, to noise pollution to people and their lousy attitude and lack of awareness pollution, I really can't take it anymore...

For the moment the worst is the noise pollution. It is driving me totally insane. I am trying to drown the garbage noise around me, the 10000 decibels of garbage noise from construction sites, from kids on roller blades or playing basket ball inside apartments, from shallow stupid women with their 3 meters pointed high heels pounding over my head, from the honking of cars for a nothing...even at the red traffic light they honk...

I am drowning all of this garbage, in an even greater noise of classical music, my weapon against incivility hoping that classical music will make them shut up, a foreign sound to the usual whorish songs blasting, throughout the day, Haifa Wehbe, style. All to no avail. My desk is trembling, shaking like an earthquake as I am typing to the sound of Bach, a truck and more drilling from construction works have started again...drowning Bach and I.

Oh good God, I can't take it anymore... It is Friday, it is a day off...but there is no respite. None whatsoever. It starts at 5.30 am till 5.30 am. When it's not construction works, it's the barbarian neighbors. The other day, one of them was shoveling gravel on his balcony at 3.00 am and the other was moving furniture at 2.30 am...and so on and so forth. No respite.

I called the police, I was crying over the phone...tears of total frustration of having my poor traumatized ears endlessly under attack. He did not think much of it. I said, listen even God rested on the 7th day. Give us a bit of respite for God's sake. There are laws, apply, enforce the damn laws...

He thought I was talking Chinese or something. What amazes me most, is the people around me. I can't possibly be the only one who can no longer take being subjected to so much noise pollution. But they don't do anything. It's like they are living on mega doses of Valium or something. Even Valium is no longer working in my case.

Sometimes I try to escape to some cafe, and am faced with another level of noise pollution, loud techno or rap shit music and the sounds of gurgling Sheeshas...

I really can't take it anymore.

I miss our home, our garden, the birds chirping in the early morning hours...but that has now become a far away dream...

I just need a bit of quiet Peace...

A Dividing Gap...

I have not felt so cut off from the rest as much as today...

Today, yesterday, six years ago...The rift is getting wider and wider, larger and larger...there used to be a bridge, but not anymore. The bridge turned into one of those tight ropes...and it finally snapped.

Nothing ties me on any level to the American people. Nothing at all. Not even "humanity". As sad as this may sound, it is true. America and its people have actually managed to cut that human tie...Amazing is it not ?

Not really...it's not.

Here is a people, the Iraqis who have done absolutely nothing to America and its "people", yet America and its people have done everything possible, everything imaginable to Iraq and her people.

Anyone who fails to understand that, will never understand anything.

I have promised myself not to write for anyone but me on this blog. And I intend to keep it that way. I will not tow the line, the expected line of me...the building bridges line...there are no bridges left. You fucking bombed all of them, both literally and metaphorically.

Why am I expected to differentiate between what a country does and what its people do, think and believe ?

They say - hey its our government. There is no such thing out there called government. When you go looking for government, you will not find something called government. There are people who form governments. Just like people form societies. Just like people form institutions and systems... PEOPLE.

Your government is made of people who represent you. And you chose them to represent you. In your case you kept choosing war criminals to represent you, as you have done in the past...because the problem is not your government, the problem is not the society out there, the problem is not the institutions and the system, some abstract entity, the problem is YOU. Yes you. You make up all of the above, from government to institution to system to society. And I tell you, it's rotten to the core.

I am on the other side of the divide, that huge divide and it shall remain so...for as long as Iraq is occupied by you and your filth, and by the Iranian filth which you brought with you.

I am on the other side of the divide and for 19 years and we are moving into our 20th year now...since 1991 till this very day, you as a people have done NOTHING concrete, tangible, effective, to stop the genocide of Iraq. NOTHING.

13 years of embargo where thousands of us died like animals, where our graveyards overflowed with babies not even allowed to see the light of day, where our cancer patients were given expired aspirin for their agony, where we sat by candle light for nights on end, where we sold our furniture, clothes, books, to survive, to survive your silence, indifference, apathy and cruelty....and here am addressing you the American shits calling yourself a people.

But that was not enough...for the subhumans that you are...that was not enough...

Just like Hiroshima and Nagasaki were not enough for you, blood thirsty depraved people...just like Vietnam was not enough for you, monsters of this world.

But we lasted longer than Vietnam and we "failed to capture the imagination of the American people" as in the words of some fucked up journalist of yours, from the left, from your anti-war shits, who are even more corrupt than your governments.

We failed to capture your imagination...

Because you think you have an imagination ? Because you think you are creative in anything of substance ? Because you believe you are something apart with your genius?

You have only one imagination, and its not even an imagination, its pure bestial instincts running wild, clothed in civilian dress...and when you are not too busy killing people, you sit and gaze at your navel, deluding yourselves with promises of great accomplishments.

13 years passed and then another Hiroshima...Iraq. Nay, worse than a Hiroshima.

But you are a people who despite your crap books about "taking an eagle's view" of situations, are incapable of seeing further than your stupid noses...

Because an eagle view is exactly what you need. But eagles fly and you are nothing but worms crawling with illusions of grandeur...

I will give you an eagle's view...

This is your eagle's view

You have destroyed EVERYTHING in Iraq. Every aspect, every home, every neighborhood, every school, every library, every bridge, every building, every worship place, every hospital, every museum, every market, every fiber...

But being the stupid dumb people that you are, you immediately think, about concrete and matter...you can't even think deeper than matter...being the sick fucks that you are.

I repeat - You have destroyed EVERYTHING in Iraq.

Gee, what does destroy mean ? yes, go ahead scratch your heads...and wonder what destroy means...

Yes, Iraq worse than a Hiroshima...Worse than a Hiroshima where our women today are too scared to get pregnant from fear of giving birth to deformed babies looking like monsters...and this is for GENERATIONS TO COME. But you like it that way...you like it when we don't reproduce...you like it when our women are childless like yours...you like it when our families are destroyed like yours...you like it when our children don't have parental care like yours...you like it when our society crumbles into immorality, drugs, crime, prostitution, like yours...yes you like it that way...you can finally find your familiar territory, you can finally find yourselves.

You have destroyed Iraq because deep down you are a deeply racist, chauvinistic, brutal, immoral people...You have destroyed Iraq because you are deep down an envious, covetous, jealous, rootless, ruthless people...You have destroyed Iraq, not just for its oil, not just for its wealth, not just for its resources, not just for its strategic location, not just because of its regime that you hated...oh no, these are only the outer excuses...that your anti-war leftist pieces of garbage like to believe...

You have destroyed Iraq because you HATE ARABS, because you HATE MUSLIMS and because you cannot bear anyone, who refuses not only to bow to you but anyone who despite your years of murderous sanctions, stood still with dignity and honor. And this you cannot take. You cannot take because you have neither. You have no dignity and you have no honor. What you have is false bravado and false pride. And that's it!

And despite all your great proclamations of faith, you are indeed a Godless people.

It no longer matters how many figures in the millions one gives to you and puts in front of your shameless faces...it no longer matters data and statistics...it no longer matters any evidential proof...it no longer matters...because it never mattered to you to start with.

Oh but I wrote to my rep, Oh but I did not vote for so and so, Oh but you need to understand that our government is corrupt and hijacked, oh but you have to know that our media controls us, oh but, oh but, oh but...

Oh, but no...Oh, but no.

20 fucking years listening to your lame shameless excuses...20 years giving you the benefit of the doubt...

Oh but you think we are a real democracy ? This Layla Anwar really believes we can change things around...

Oh yeah ? Well if you managed to change my country into a mass of rubble, am sure you can manage to change things around in your own backyard.

You voted for Bush TWICE, you voted for Obooma, your filthy boys voluntarily join the army, for God's sake even your anti war shits support the war in Afghanistan, and not only that, support the other occupier of Iraq - Iran.

Amazing, truly amazing...

You could have chosen another path from the very beginning..but you did not. Because you did NOT WANT TO...And you did not want because you are a deeply hateful, ignorant, envious, jealous, people who are too lazy to think.

You stopped Vietnam, ok granted it took you some time...but wait it was not you who stopped Vietnam, it was the body bags that did. Seems that violence is the only language you really pay attention to...because you are inherently violent yourselves.

Violent, aggressive, bigoted, haughty, arrogant...

And you expect me to consider the exceptions ? After 20 fucking years ?

You must be kidding...

This dividing gap is a done deal.

And you asked for it.