Monday 16 November 2009

Drained...

I am not sure I want to keep the uncensored blog open to the public anymore. I really need a private space for me alone and I feel some are prying a wee bit too much into it...this is is the distinct impression am getting. I'll give it a couple more days and will take a final decision. I've deleted all the followers of this blog. Sorry folks - I'm in a hermit, seclusive, hibernating mode.

My instinct tells me it should be closed down to the public and I think this is exactly what I am going to do.

Apart from that, I am feeling quite drained. Jumping from one tragedy to another - plight of Iraqi children, then Iraqi deformed babies, now the execution of 126 women and in between documenting stories about the theft of Iraq's antiquities, plus translating articles into English, plus reading articles in Arabic regarding Iraq and having to sift through them and sift through the information, plus following Iraqi sat TVs for fresh news, plus following news on Twitter and re-tweeting, not to mention responding to pending emails and direct messages, plus writing posts...
Am a Reuters all by myself and am fucking exhausted !!!

Then I ask myself, who gives a damn anyways. I can publish 1000 stories and people may or may not read...some will get excited, will get a buzz and it will all fizzle out in the end...until the next post...

In the process, I've been terribly neglecting my family, my social life and my love life. Z's patience has run out and he is furious. I don't really blame him. I would be too, if I were him. My family is getting quite impatient with me too, since am hardly ever available. As for my friends (none virtual ones), well they gave up on me. Whenever anyone of them calls, I start the conversation with - I know, I know, you are absolutely right, am a horrible, aloof, anti-social woman. That sorts of shuts them up from the word go.

But really, am drained...totally drained.