Sunday 25 November 2007

Woman Enough.


Most women are told they are not good enough. It's seems to be the overriding injunction, message, that remains with them well into the end of their days...

Sometimes it is said out openly, and sometimes insiduously. It is repeated for years by mama, papa, school teacher, boyfriend, lover, husband and faithfully passed on to the children...

You are not good enough. You are too - tall, short, fat, thin, blonde, brunette, loud, quiet, lazy, overactive, intellectual, not intellectual, political, apolitical, religious, not religious enough...

You are too - sexual, frigid, social, asocial, extroverted, introverted, rigid, loose, tight, responsible, irresponsible, charitable, selfish, polite, rude, emotional, rational...

You are too much - you are not enough. Flip sides of the same coin.

The end result is always the same. You are not accepted, you are not wanted, you are not desired. After all you are a girl, now you are woman. We tolerate you but really deep down we prefer you to be a man or at least asexual. A non-gender. Anything, but don't bother us with your otherness...

Sure we need your uterus to reproduce, or your vagina because after all you are supposed to fulfill a certain function, but please do not push beyond this.

And the classical line- after all I did marry you did I not ? And, you are carrying my child, so be a Mother.
And we all know what Mothers represent in the collective psyche - An asexual being. Who wants to bed his own mother, apart from Oedipus ?
Or, I did desire you for an hour, a month, a year... and I can easily sow my precious seeds elsewhere if I wish and if you push too long and too hard...So don't push and be grateful.

Of course it's almost never said out loud the way I exposed it above, but it does come pretty close. Don't you agree ?

Almost every single woman, carries this burdensome message on her shoulders, carries it everywhere she goes, from her cradle to her grave.

Whatever her race, her nationality, her ethnicity, her religious adherence, her class, her age...The message is faithful to her and...she is faithful to it too.

The message is first "lovingly" given to her by her own mother, confirmed by her father and brothers if she has any, then society handles the rest.

Society is very good at handling the rest, since the "family" did a wonderful job to start with.

In a desperate attempt, the Self needing to emerge and shine, because that is its primary "God" given role, is constantly thwarted...The life energy turns inwards, against its owner...

It then comes as no surprise that "statistics" tell us that "mental illness" affects more women than men. That more women fall into debilitating depressions, suffer anxiety disorders, suffer from borderline personality disorders, are anorexic/bulimic, are addicted to shopping or relationships, develop psychosomatic illnesses, are more prone to accidents...compared to our "wonderful" men.

Freud, the neurotic jewish idiot, believed that Hysteria was rooted in the Uterus, hence the etymological connection. Hysterectomy a way to eradicate hysteria?
Most gynecologists still secretly believe that. And that poor female body will produce exactly what it was fed. Feed it hysterical notions and it will produce sick uteruses waiting to be removed...

And off you go for a hysterectomy -that should cure it, she is told. Or so they believe. But then the message moves to other typically female organs.

How many times when treating female patients with breast cancer, and you ask them what took place prior to the illness and 9 times out of 10 they will relate an incident that has directly affected that poor femininity of theirs.

OK, these may be extreme manifestations of a thwarted Self, of an energy that turns against its owner. There are other manifestations too, slightly less dangerous and appear more benign when in fact they are not.

There are all these "mental" manifestations I spoke of earlier on and on which a whole psychiatric and pharmaceutical industry were built.

Then there is also the whole fashion industry that caters for women with no sense of self.

Then add to that, the cosmetic industry. If I just buy the right lipstick or the right cream, maybe, just maybe...Or if my hair looks like this model promoting this shampoo, just maybe...

Then there is of course the last recourse, the plastic surgeon. Face lift, eyebrow lift, tummy tuck, nose job, liposuction - suck the flab, lift the boobs, augment them, plump those lips, laser, botox, siliconize....Anything.

Notice the words. Sucking, tucking, lifting, filling, plumping - what do these words remind you of`? And if you can't make the association or connection, think twice.

Doctor change me and make me more acceptable, more loveable, more desirable...
Lift me, suck my flab, fill me, plump me, tuck me...

Any better now?

Or at the psychiatrist's office or the charlatan magician or card, coffee cup, reader. What are these women saying?

Listen to me, recognize me, affirm me, help me...

And what does the plastic surgeon, charlatan psychic, psychiatrist and shopping mall have in common?
They will lift her up, and tell her you are fine and will be fine. But do buy this latest dress, or lift this boob or take that anti-depressant or ... remove your uterus...


Milleniums of that message - very much ingrained in our vortex, has become part of our neurons, printed in our cells.

Revolutions have come and gone. You burned bras and walked naked, you took the pill and fucked your head senseless, you had the nose job, the boob job and the liposuction, you bought the right clothes, you also married and reproduced and became a good mother and wife and yet...the message is still there. How come?

Some of you flirted with madness, drugs, alcohol, and bad men, seeking the ultimate lift me up in abuse and yet the message is still there...how come?

You have tried every single psychic, self help book, anti-depressant, tranquilizer, tarot reader, sheikh, priest, rabbi or monk, you prayed and pleaded, you burned candles, chanted, and burned incense and yet the message is still there...how come?

No magic, no therapy, no surgery, no religious figure will ever help you unless YOU first recognize that "primary" message and CHANGE it.

I am urging to wage a revolution against the message, a ruthless revolution...

I am urging to pluck it out from your cells and from your neurons...I am asking to behead it, burn it and banish it into a forever exile...

I am asking you to proclaim out loud, AM INTELLIGENT ENOUGH, PRETTY ENOUGH, LOVING ENOUGH, STRONG ENOUGH, SOFT ENOUGH, SEXY ENOUGH, RATIONAL ENOUGH...

AM GOOD ENOUGH. AM WOMAN ENOUGH...

Do you get it ?


Now, you be nice enough to this Arab, Muslim, Iraqi, woman whose roots date back a thousand centuries and whose country - even you, women faithful to the "message", have helped in raping and destroying.

Be grateful to Her for teaching you a lesson in how to be.

So BE.

Painting: Iraqi Artist, Mahoud Ahmed.