It's late here and I really ought to get my ass in bed. But could not resist the urge to jot down a few lines regarding this perpetuated myth of being "unconditionally" loved and accepted by the other. I am specifically referring here to male female relationships.
Both, men and women suffer from this insane belief. Women to a much lesser extent since they have been socialized to endlessly give and give and give to the point of emotional and mental exhaustion.
Men on the other hand, deeply harbor the belief that; if they meet the woman who will accept and love them unconditionally, then their lives will finally turn around...
Unconditionally, no matter what.
No matter what they do, say...no matter how they act, behave...no matter the omissions, the twisting, the fabrications, the manipulations, the crookedness, the deceptiveness, the deviousness, the meanness, the betrayals, the infidelities, the disappointments, the let downs, the cruelty, the immaturity, the irresponsibility, the vindictiveness, the brutality, the harshness, the indifference, the sulking and pouting and yes men sulk and pout like nobody's business, no matter...
Excuse me, but why should any woman accept the unacceptable and love the unlovable ?
What is this idiotic arrogance that rules your brains - assuming you have one, that tells you that you deserve nothing short of total unconditional love and acceptance from your wives, partners, girlfriends...? And why should it be so ?
I mean what is so special about you guys that one has to sacrifice one's integrity, well being, sanity, peace of mind, mental, physical, emotional health...to accommodate such an irrational belief that can be traced back to when you were suckling at your mother's breasts.
No darlings, romance and love don't work that way...
Even between mother and child, there are conditions, unspoken consensual agreements...
There is NO such thing as unconditional love and acceptance between a man and a woman...It may come about later, after years of living and putting up with each other and in particular putting up with your shit, but sorry to disappoint you, it is not a given. Nor should it be.
Hello, this is adulthood here.
You want unconditional acceptance and love, sure thing, go to your local worship place and implore God, chances are even He/She/It, will tell you to shape up first...before you can experience it.
Or if you are not bent on the God concept, consult a healer, a therapist, a witch, a sorcerer to exorcise you first.
And if you are too logical and rational and scientifically inclined, and you don't believe in all this "hocus pocus" there is a short cut - hire a nurse or a friggin nanny. Chances are, that she too, will resign from her vocation, in no time...
So yes darlings, you want to be loved unconditionally, who doesn't? Women want it too, but we gave up on that one, coming from you centuries ago...
Next time you heavily flirt with that irrational puerile belief in your heads, look at yourselves in the mirror and ask - do I really deserve it ?
