Today has been a particularly hard one.
I stopped over for a coffee and a croissant before heading to an appointment...usually coffee dispels clouds and fogginess...not today though. I had three in a row, like a junkie hoping that his next fix will produce the intended result...did not happen.
That gut wrenching sinking feeling that I've been carrying inside since the early hours did not evaporate with my fix. The act of being in a café, something that usually brings me some form of comfort, I suppose due to the fact that I feel am in a "shared place" with the "social other", did not do it for me either. The sound of coffee being grounded and its strong aroma, with the secret hope of being grounded myself through my senses, did not do it for me...
My immediate band aid, my temporary fix failed...I am still stuck in the fog...I will just have to accept it is so for now.
